Bear in the Bushes

Bear in the Bushes

A Story by Orko
"

Scary tale of Billy and Mommy

"
Billy and his Mommy were two peas in a pod. When his Daddy left, Billy and Mommy spent nearly every waking hour together. Games, stories, puzzles, you name it, and Billy and Mommy did it. Billy's favorite game by far, though, was "Bear in the Bushes". This would consist of Mommy taking his favorite stuffed bear in the whole world, Theodore, and hiding it in different spots around the house. This game basically never ended, and would continue throughout most days. Every time Billy would find Theo, he would proudly bring him back to Mommy, who would congratulate him on his great tracking skills (often rewarded by a small treat of some sort), and Billy would run off and play while Mommy found a new hiding spot. Billy never peaked while Mommy hid Theo, because that would be cheating and "cheaters never win" Mommy told him. 
It was just a week before Billy's 4th Christmas, and Mommy had decorated their tiny house with wonderful colors and lights and smells. Billy absolutely loved Christmas, and this was the first year he was beginning to understand what all was going on, so that made it even better for Mommy, too. Both Billy and Mommy had been up bright and early this morning, having both fallen asleep holding one another after Mommy had told Billy a story. Mommy was baking some goodies in the kitchen. Billy was coloring some Christmas pictures in a book he had gotten just the day before, in hopes that Mommy would put them up on the wall with her decorations. After finishing one of his pictures, he remembered Theo and decided to go off hunting for him. Mommy was busy in the kitchen with the oven and a couple burners going. Along with the heater being on, it made the room too hot for Billy, so he stayed away from there. Instead he focused his tracking powers on the living room. Not big by anyone's except a 4 year old's standards, Billy nonetheless found lots of places to look that Theo could be. He checked under the loveseat, under Daddy's old recliner, behind the curtains, in the drawer of the end table. He was about to give up and go on to another room when he decided to check the Christmas tree. 
Last week, he and Mommy had went to Billy's uncle's house, who happened to own a small Christmas tree farm. He let Billy pick out his very own tree for Christmas! Billy was very excited, and it took him quite a while to pick out the perfect one. When he finally decided, Billy's uncle gave a smile and a nod of approval and helped pack it up to bring home. They had decorated it as soon as they got home, probably due to the begging of Billy the entire ride back. He was allowed to water it and even got to put the star on top! 
Billy was a little hesitant to go searching through the tree, afraid he may knock off some of the delicate decorations, or worse yet, knock it over. Mommy might really be mad, then. He peaked under the tree and only saw the stand and the red "skirt". That's what Mommy had called it and this made Billy giggle at the thought of a tree wearing a skirt. He checked behind the tree, and still nothing. He was about to give up, when something inside the tree caught his eye. 
The light from one of the Christmas lights (all of which were still on from the previous evening) caught in what looked like one of Theo's big brown eyes. Billy separated two of the branches, and yes! There was Theo, sitting on one of the far branches. Billy knew Mommy would be really proud of his detective skills this time, and smiled at the thought of bringing Theo to the kitchen. Billy separated the two branches further, carfull not to disturb any of the decorations. He tried to grab Theo, but his short arms failed him. Not to be denied, Billy stepped in closer until he was literally inside the tree, and with his right hand grabbed for Theo. This time he did get him, but as he tried to bring Theo closer to him, the tag on the back snagged on one of the Christmas lights. The strand that the light was attached to had a small fray near the bulb that hit one of the needles as it made a tiny spark. A small flame rose from the branch the needle had been on. Billy, not knowing how serious it was, was determined to save Theo from the fire. He made one last reach for Theo as the bear fell down farther into the tree, and Billy fell with him. That was all that was needed. Within seconds the tree was going up in a blaze. Billy screamed in terror and called for Mommy, and Mommy came running into the living room to find that her entire world had just been taken from her in an instant.
At the funeral, Mommy sat alone for much of the service, at her request. Billy's Daddy was there with his side of the family, but they kept to themselves on one side of the room, while Mommy's brother and a few of Mommy's neighbors stayed on the other side. After Billy was laid to rest, Billy's Daddy tried to get close enough to Mommy for her to hear him mutter that this was "all her fault", and Billy should have been with him, even though Mommy hadn't heard from Daddy in the six months he had been gone. This didn't stop Mommy from feeling like Daddy was right, though. This was all her fault. She should have kept an eye on him better and warned him not to play around the tree.
Mommy went home with Billy's Uncle, who had lived much closer to the cemetery and who had already brought some things for her, and put away all the food that was given to her at the reception. She had no emotion on her face and no response for Billy's Uncle when he asked if there was "anything he could do". Going through the motions, she took a shower and brushed her teeth for bed. She stared at herself in the mirror and pictured flames burning her hair and charring her face. She looked away. She opened the medicine cabinet and searched for a while, finally finding what she wanted. She brought the bottle of pills and a glass of water back to her room and set them down on the nightstand as she sat on the edge of the bed. Billy's Uncle had brought a picture of Billy from Mommy's house and put it on the nightstand. Mommy picked up the picture and hugged it to her heart. She laid back and let out a silent scream more powerful and emotional than any lion's roar. Then Mommy passed out.
She woke the next morning to birds chirping and the sun shining like the world hadn't ended. As she began to wake up a little more, she noticed a burning smell and immediately sat up with her heart pounding out of her chest. Then she realized it wasn't a burning smell, but a "burnt" smell. Beside her on the still-made bed was a small muddy outline of a shape she knew well, and a tiny handprint on her nightgown over her stomach. The picture was on the nightstand as it had been the night before, along with the glass of water. In place of the bottle of pills, was a small charred teddy bear with big brown eyes.

© 2015 Orko


Author's Note

Orko
I've always wanted to be a writer.

My Review

Would you like to review this Story?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Okay, it's an interesting concept for a story, although I'm not sure how I feel about the end. The bear nestled by the mother in the bed seemed like a gimmicky way to end the story. Aside from this, I only have a few notes for you on how to improve this. First off, do not use the words Mommy and Daddy to describe the mom and dad in the story. It's very distracting and takes away from the credence of the narrator's voice. You want a strong story, you'll have to tell it in a non intrusive, clear and succinct way. Also, watch for cliches such as the mother holding a picture of her son to her chest. We understand she misses him, and that's often over done in films, books, television, and what have you. Now what you've done right with the story, and many horror writers get this wrong, is you didn't lead the story with an immediate insidious intent. On a basic level, you managed to keep a regular day in the life scenario and gradually warp it into abnormality. I appreciate this everyday, ordinary object/event gone wrong approach to horror. However, this story could use tightening and cleaning—try to make the narration less playful. I understand the tone of the piece functioned as a means to show the world as Billy would see it, but it doesn't quite work too well in the third person. Many writers can get away with this, but the device just doesn't seem to gel with the narrative. I hope this review helps. Kudos for the post.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Orko

8 Years Ago

Thanks a lot for your review! :) I was a little rushed because there was a contest I was trying to e.. read more
CLRose

8 Years Ago

It's no problem. I saw this story had sixty or so reviews and not a single person attempted to revie.. read more



Reviews

Okay, it's an interesting concept for a story, although I'm not sure how I feel about the end. The bear nestled by the mother in the bed seemed like a gimmicky way to end the story. Aside from this, I only have a few notes for you on how to improve this. First off, do not use the words Mommy and Daddy to describe the mom and dad in the story. It's very distracting and takes away from the credence of the narrator's voice. You want a strong story, you'll have to tell it in a non intrusive, clear and succinct way. Also, watch for cliches such as the mother holding a picture of her son to her chest. We understand she misses him, and that's often over done in films, books, television, and what have you. Now what you've done right with the story, and many horror writers get this wrong, is you didn't lead the story with an immediate insidious intent. On a basic level, you managed to keep a regular day in the life scenario and gradually warp it into abnormality. I appreciate this everyday, ordinary object/event gone wrong approach to horror. However, this story could use tightening and cleaning—try to make the narration less playful. I understand the tone of the piece functioned as a means to show the world as Billy would see it, but it doesn't quite work too well in the third person. Many writers can get away with this, but the device just doesn't seem to gel with the narrative. I hope this review helps. Kudos for the post.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Orko

8 Years Ago

Thanks a lot for your review! :) I was a little rushed because there was a contest I was trying to e.. read more
CLRose

8 Years Ago

It's no problem. I saw this story had sixty or so reviews and not a single person attempted to revie.. read more

Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

234 Views
1 Review
Added on April 20, 2015
Last Updated on April 20, 2015
Tags: Scary, Horror

Author

Orko
Orko

Cohoes, NY