Man

Analysis of masculinity

My grandma tells me to cut my hair ,
locks fall short of n****e but I feel like a man,
I feel like a man I say-
but what is that?

My uncle calls me a "big girl"
I tell him the vikings had hair long, the Romans thought heterosexuality was restrictive -
a world of vanilla without any sprinkles.
He tells me that was back then -
and now in the real world we are but men;
tears bereft from our cheeks and thoughts locked in a vault of
stoic expression ,
that is not me I repeat , that is not me.

The idea of man is as much of a social construct
as a f*****g holiday to Benidorm ,
the only thing that makes you a man is a c**k and balls,
you are not a "provider" you do not have to be "strong".
This is not Bogart, but a boggart-
the insecurities of men sell shampoo in a black label,
sell you a car with a big engine ,
sell you pints of Krongenburg and a packet of McCoys.

The blindness of a social construct is that it is engrained,
Gramsci's hegemony but for advertisement , and all.
We don't see that men aren't he same as the 50's-
that men and women have the same emotional spectrum-
but one is made to be repressed and one overrepresented.

The Achilles heel is insecurity -
asking your "mates" does this top make me "gay",
as if being gay is emasculation,
if not the most manly thing anyone could do .
Calling them "girls" when they do something creative ,
as if emotion is not masculine.
unless we bring a halt, we are in a ship with a hole in the bottom,
drowning in a sea of conformity,
ears filled with sand , and scratching for the air .