Number 1 Crush

When an obsession becomes frightening.

Number 1 Crush



“See your face every place that I walk in
Hear your voice every time that I'm talking
You will believe in me
And I will never be ignored.”

‘Number One Crush’ by Garbage


Lust (noun): 1. strong sexual desire. 2. a passionate desire for something. 3. {Theology} a sensuous appetite regarded as sinful.


There you stand at the bus stop like you always do every morning, my little dark angel of Death. You don’t know me, and if you did, you wouldn’t care but that’s okay because that’s how want you. Not caring, not feeling, not even being, yeah that’s how I want it with you. I see today is a little warm and not raining so you’re not wearing your long leather overcoat, that’s good, yeah. It lets me see more of you. You look delicious in that black t-shirt, black skirt, and the black mid-calf boots with the big blocky heels. Black, black, black, is your heart black as well, My Love? or is there warm, red blood through those veins? Let me take a bite out of you so that I can find out. Could I? Should I? Should I tell you about my fantasies?  How you drive me crazy with that strip of exposed skin between the hem of your skirt and your thigh high candy cane striped stockings. Or how  you look at me sometimes, but not really looking at me, with your heavily mascaraed eyes, eyes that burn into my soul, yeah those eyes how I love them, want them, need them to be mine. I want you to be mine. I want your eyes, your skin, your soul. Yeah, Sweet Baby, I don’t care what others think. So what that you are young, that’s okay I will teach you, I will be your daddy, your lover yeah just you and me and nothing else, you’ll be mine and only mine and no one will separate us. See? That’s how it could be. Should be, will be, yeah Sweet Baby, you and me and our love. Okay, now let me drive up in my car, yeah Sweet Angel, let me pull up and ask you if you need a ride, yeah a ride. you don’t want to walk today, not with those boots on, no, you want a ride. The sun’s out, not good for your pale skin, oh no, you need a ride. Come on little baby, here I am I right here, look up at me from your Ipod, yeah, look at me, yeah, that’s it, oh Pretty Baby, don’t make that face, no don’t pout like that cause you don’t know what that does to me, please baby let me ask.

“Need a ride?”

“What?”

“I said do you need a ride somewhere?”

“Uh no, that’s okay, my mom will be here any minute.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Okay.”

Oh Sweet Baby, I guess you’re not ready for me yet. That’s okay, my Sweet Angel, my little gothic piece of candy... there’s always tomorrow.