The Day

I remember the day you killed me.

You held a gun to my head. 

You told me to be quiet.

You said it was the only way. 

I remember the day perfectly.

It is painted in my head.

It is tattooed to my brain.

I want to forget it.

But I can never forget anything you did. 

You can never forget your Father and all the things he did to you.  

Author's Note

Confusing :/

Reviews

[Rain]

Nope, not confusing. Like how you revealed who it was only in the last sentence. kinda builds up the tension. :D
Powerful, emotional, captivating.

[Fabric Pulse]

It spooks your reader, but makes them be aware of all parts of life and what people have to go through. It's awareness for something, period. It's hard to forgive a memory that haunts you and tries to bleed you out every day, but it's better that then dwell on it and add more hate and pain, if you catch my drift. It may take your whole life to figure out how, but you will get there.

[Vanessa Rico]

Wow! Scary and dark and it hooked me from the first line! Great!

[Patches I'm not so new..]

No not really you have let the reader draw their own conclusion as to what the deed was----

[A.E. Surdam]

Very interesting. It wasn't confusing. It has this sort of theme or a mood to it. And you captured it. Truly you did. I liked it and how you told the tale.

[Chris]

Everyone already said it.

This is powerful.

[kikieatszombies]

wow, thats powerful

[Nobody's Daughter]

I love this. I could really relate to it. Terrific write.

[Yina]

Not confusing but now I'm curious:) Nice writing

[Rococopay]

Good poem overall, needs a little work. You may want to change 1 or 2 lines "It is painted in my head." and "It is tattooes to my brain." These two sentences, although different in there own way, come to the same meaning thus it is a way that you are repeating yourself which you want to avoid.

Great title by the way, just a few hours ago I got out of my Intro to Lit class and in there we we're discussing the importance of titles in contrast to poems and short stories.


Keep up the good work! :)