Written : February 12th, 2009 - Thursday - 1:25 AM
Previous Version
This is a previous version of Falsity of Trials.
[ Falsity of Trials ]
My story with Falsity I advent,
of one trial in the Lies' bowl...
Friendship, Faithfulness of my adherent, daggers he lunged into my soul...
And Lies in secrecy ascent, yet unfolded, suddenly, as whole...
Such akin of abundance, rent! Stood my ground as winter's fall...
Hark, O, Man! Attend! Never trust the deceiver's goal...
As Truth has always been abscent, the dawn will come after all...
this is your best poem.
thanks for entering my contest.
I came to it later, but I did.
Of course I like the morals in this poem,
you know it. If I may suggest, but we all
are different, I would use less punctuation.
But, that's just my opinion. Sadly, we often
don't see the deceit, for normal is to trust till
we are proved differently? If you would ask me,
in my opinion, almost everything in this world is
a deceit and manipulation. Great poem.
this is your best poem.
thanks for entering my contest.
I came to it later, but I did.
Of course I like the morals in this poem,
you know it. If I may suggest, but we all
are different, I would use less punctuation.
But, that's just my opinion. Sadly, we often
don't see the deceit, for normal is to trust till
we are proved differently? If you would ask me,
in my opinion, almost everything in this world is
a deceit and manipulation. Great poem.
I like the last part, as if the truth will be seen in the end, it's more like a threat, a dawn will come indeed! Few words, do not let such a thing make you feel down..
Other wise, this is a masterpiece.
![[send message]](https://www.writerscafe.org/images/mail.png){kind=small}
![[befriend]](https://www.writerscafe.org/images/friend.png){kind=small}
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Read Request
My Library
Flag Writing
