Last Breath

A young girl who believe's the world Is an innocent place, Until her father dies.

Releasing a heavy scent of Bud light, and Tobacco, his slurred words are a comfort. Clasping the silver pocket watch in his left hand, and tucking me in to bed with his right; I knew this night was rare.

  Inhaling as much of his scent as I could, because it felt like he was dispersing into thin air and then one day he would vanish.

  And I was right fighting back tears and muffling my screams I coach myself into believing everything will be alright, so that makes me a liar.  

  He’s tall well taller than me at least, standing 6’1 dark skinned and dark brown eyes that make him look Porter Rican, He has that mischievous smile that’s not quite a frown and not quite a smirk but it makes you want to smile bigger than the Cheshire cat.

  His voice is loud it echoes through the house shaking it like thunder, but it eases my soul; when he kisses my check his black mustache scrapes my face. If I could feel pain, maybe I would have winced at the sharp ends of his mustache. But right now all feeling is numb.

  I notice that he always carries the silver pocket watch; I gave him for father’s day where ever he goes, it comforts my heart and mind to know that I’m his beginning and ending of each and every day.

  He comes home drunk every night, taking big, swaggering steps towards the kitchen to grab yet another beer.

  He looks at me apologetically, I know he’s sorry for being this way, screaming on the inside loosing himself on the out. I sit on his lap a frown on my face no one could take off.
  He begins to cry and he looks at me with pain in his eyes, “I’m sorry Lulu.” He says. And I look at him bewildered “Daddy, your silly.” I say. “You’re the greatest dad in this world, you’re my champion and no one is going to change my mind!” I look at him with hope in my eyes, hoping he can see what I do.
  “But I’m a drunk.” He sobs.  
I hug him tightly soaking his neck with my tears. “I don’t care!” I yell “I love you daddy, and you’re the only one who gets me; we don’t need anyone in this world but each other. I say trying to convince him of my truth.

  I grab the watch out of his checkered blue coat, and hold it up to his face “This watch, is yours pops and I gave it to you because your my best friend, your my fighter, and you’re the greatest dad.” I say “I’m so proud of you, you are the only person who believes I’m somebody.”

  He smiles and begins to sing “My Girl” By the Temptations, he always sing’s that song to me when he’s happy and when the whole world seems against him. Because he knows I’ll always be there helping him fight.

  It’s Friday and so I know he will come home tonight to watch the fights on TV, It’s a ritual in my house. Every Friday he comes over he never fails to show, but somethings wrong about tonight because it’s already 7:00 and the fights started an hour ago then the phone rings, and my heart stops.

  Its him and I can’t understand a word he is saying. but before i hear a click I hear the words “ I love you.” my heart is broken and I run to my mothers bed sobbing. 
              
  The rest of the night i can’t sleep, I’m restless then finally the sun rises and i rush to the phone to call him. but he isn't the one who answers his friend Jordan does. and we keep playing guessing games, I keep asking where my dad’s at and he keeps saying, he’s gone but i don’t understand.

And he finally says “He never woke up.” and i began to scream hysterically and start punching walls, as tears flood my eyes. my mother  picked up the phone hesitantly; When she realizes what is happening, she looses it.

  Hours pass and it feels like minuets dragging, when we hear a knock at the door. My heart stops for an instant. “Daddy?!” I cry out. Then my mom Is restraining me from running to the door with false hope. When my uncle opens the door; Disappointment floods my system.

  It’s just a cop holding a bag filled with my dad’s stuff that was in his pockets the night he died. I can see the silver pocket watch and immediately I feel Everything about me Is fake. I don't know who I am anymore Who's Lulu?

Reviews

[C. Lee Battaglia]

Wow! Your new and you wrote this? This is amazing!
You have an amazing gift!
This is so sad and touching! I know it feels to lose someone you love dearly.
Keep on writing!

C. Lee Battalia