Of Meanders and Spirits (working title)

Of Meanders and Spirits (working title)

A Story by insertwittynamehere

        I looked out the window in agony as the car whizzed by the never-ending slender trees. How many damn trees can there be? I shifted my body forward and leaned my head back into the headrest with a sigh. I looked at my father in front of me, calmly turning the stupid steering wheel. I turned to the right to see my sister, Airi, sprawled out across the seat. The corners of my lips curled into a devious smile. Her foot was dangerously close to my head, so I decided to dump the contents of my ice-cold water bottle onto her face �" a sort of water boarding as punishment for thinking it would be funny to put a hammer against my hand (currently in a cast). She woke up gasping, spluttering, and choking. I did nothing to hold back my laughter. My father looked through the rearview mirror and chuckled �" it was okay if we semi-tortured each other, as long as we didn’t die. She glared at me with saucer-like eyes and her nostrils flared with her eyes, making me laugh even more.

        “You s****y little nggaaaah!!!” she screamed as she futilely tried to attack me within the confines of the car. I winced while trying to protect my broken hand. When she caught a glimpse of my hand and my pained expression (which I feigned), she settled for tickling me until my pleas for her to stop and my tears forced my father to interfere. She settled back down into her seat and chuckled to herself.  “You just wait and see,” she said in a ‘dark’ tone.

        I stuck out my tongue at her and kicked the seat in front of me.

        “What?” my dad asked with irritation. He didn’t like it when his seat was kicked so I always try to kick it as often as I can.

        “Tell me why you are putting us through this crap? I don’t want to go,” I said with a pout and my arms crossed.

        My father looked at the both of us through the rearview mirror with an apologetic smile. “I wish I could have you guys stay with me but I wouldn’t even be there to give you food and drive you to school. I am only doing this to ensure that you are being fed properly and having a good education, which is something I can’t help you with right now. I hate it so much, but I want to make enough money to send you both to your dream colleges.” As he said this, the car pulled up onto a gravel road and then we saw the moss-covered, mansion-like building.

        My heart sunk deeper and I became not only sad but also scared. I didn’t like the way this place was in the woods and how it looked eerie. As the car came to slow stop, I got out of the car hesitantly and walked on the gravel with my unmatched socks. I looked at the ironclad gates and saw a large headboard looming over it. “Mansion Grove Preparatory… that is a s****y name.”

        “… I-I change my mind, I don’t want to go here anymore,” Airi said as she turned around and attempted to walk back to the car. Unfortunately, father had decided to make his appearance with the suitcases and prevented her from going anywhere. She slumped her head onto my shoulder and mumbled to herself useless, comforting thoughts.

        I shrugged her off and attempted to climb the gate.

        “What are you doing?” my father asked with absolute horror. My sister smiled up at me with newfound excitement.

        “I’m going to open the gates from the other side.”

        “That’s right! Just show ‘em all why we’re being sent away in the first place!” Airi said, more enthusiastic now.

        “There’s a bell right here,” my father said as he pointed to a golden, broken bell. He pulled on the clapper and let the bell sing its horrid sound.

        “TURN IT OFF!” I said as I covered my poor ears.

        My dad looked at me in disbelief and Airi giggled at him. When the sound subsided, the gates whipped open, taking away all my hopes of escaping.

         A boy who seemed to be a prefect appeared before us and smiled. “Hello! My name is Wussrow.”

        Airi snorted and I smiled at her; both of us were failing at covering up our amusement.

        My father immediately spoke up to prevent Wussrow from noticing us. “It’s nice to meet you, son. I am James Phillips and these are my daughters, Avi and Airi.”

        “You two look exactly like each other.”

        “It’s funny how twins look alike,” I mumbled under my breath.

        “Well, this is a good time to take you two in then? I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t allow parents and guardians into the building unless it’s an emergency.”

        “Oh… I see.” My sister and I felt our father’s and our hearts drop. He pulled us into a tight hug, kissed our heads, and said to be the best we could be.

        “Of course, what else would we be?” I said in a cocky attempt to prevent the stupid, stinging tears from falling out.

        My father smiled at us and hugged us once more before waving farewell. The three of us watched as the car rolled off the gravel. Airi and I turned back to Wussrow in despair and looked at him.

        “H-here, let me take your suitcases for you.”

        “It’s okay, you can take Avi’s instead. I don’t think she’ll be able to carry it.”

        He nodded as he grabbed my suitcase and led us down the path to the school. “What happened to your hand?”

        “She happened.”

        He laughed. “I see,” he said with a smile. His expression then turned dark. “I don’t mean to scare you guys, but... you two couldn’t have come at a worse time.”

        Airi and I looked at each other and I moved closer to her. I couldn’t help but hear the rustle of leaves despite there being no wind. I closed my eyes, held onto my sister’s arm, and kept walking.

© 2013 insertwittynamehere


Author's Note

insertwittynamehere
I don't like the part where the father explains why he is sending the two away, but I can't think of what to replace it with. What can I do to make it better? Criticisms?

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Featured Review

The story flowed nicely, it kept my interest to the end. I like your choice of words. The transitions feel a bit off, but are connected and impress continuity nonetheless. As far as your concern about the father sending the children away, I would change your words around with something more dramatic in order to fit in with the overall feel of the story. A car driving through woods always gives the sensation of change, being lost, or escaping. Having the father sound like he is escaping from the responsibilities of his actions is a good central plot. the children sound like a handful, anyways. Overall, your composition is a delight to read and you should consider your strength in short story writing for future attempts. Thanks for sharing!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

insertwittynamehere

7 Years Ago

Thank you! I hadn't thought about the feelings of escape so that'll really help me with fixing and c.. read more



Reviews

The story flowed nicely, it kept my interest to the end. I like your choice of words. The transitions feel a bit off, but are connected and impress continuity nonetheless. As far as your concern about the father sending the children away, I would change your words around with something more dramatic in order to fit in with the overall feel of the story. A car driving through woods always gives the sensation of change, being lost, or escaping. Having the father sound like he is escaping from the responsibilities of his actions is a good central plot. the children sound like a handful, anyways. Overall, your composition is a delight to read and you should consider your strength in short story writing for future attempts. Thanks for sharing!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

insertwittynamehere

7 Years Ago

Thank you! I hadn't thought about the feelings of escape so that'll really help me with fixing and c.. read more

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Added on May 15, 2013
Last Updated on May 15, 2013
Tags: Twins, Suspense, Spirits