I guess

Sitting alone inside my room
Writing songs about you
Skipped a beat and made my heart went boom

Talking to my thoughts
Remembering of how we used to be
All those sleepless nights and how cool you looked waiting in front of me

But we go back to being strangers
Our memories scattered
Blissful thoughts about us, burned

I guess this is goodbye
I guess it's really over
I guess you're doing fine
I guess I'll stop thinking about you
I guess, us was not a thing

I know that there’s something going between us, now I know

I know that you’re hiding something since before I know

I thought that this love would stay forever

I thought we looked good together, I guess

I thought I'd be alright 
I thought this would be over 
I thought I'm doing fine 
I thought I'd stop thinking about you 

I know, I'm not yours and you're not mine 

Endless thoughts about us slowly fading away

All I can do is see you smile with her

All I can say is “wish you well”, I guess 

Reviews

[barleygirl]

The strong aspect of your writing is the way you have something definite to say, a distinct story about some aspect of living & being human. I really felt what this story was showing us, about how this narrator feels. The part I'm not crazy about: many lines starting with "I guess" and "I thought" . . . that's too much repetition for me. It starts distracting from your message, for me. If you want to use that much repetition, it better be a phrase that carries some powerful unique meaning. "I guess" and "I thought" are not remarkable ideas, they are very forgettable. Not worth repeating that many times, in my opinion. But I'm more fussy about repetition than many poets. Lots of poets use lots of repetition. You have to choose for yourself (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[tiiing]

This is my first piece and your review made me feel relieved. Thank you Margie! and actually, this is a song :))))

[barleygirl]

I can see where the repetition would be more likely, if this is a song . . .

[Ruby Heggie (PB Jacobs)]

At least you're a good sport. Breakups suck, and it takes a while to get over things. I like how you describe your broken heart.

[Ace Jaxon]

Very passionate, loved how it sounded. The feelings of desperation, of wanting the other person and having to let them go because they aren't yours to keep is something that is sad when it happens, but maybe they will come back or someone new will show up. Keep up the good writing.

[augustus]

Well written. I enjoyed it. Keep up the good work!

[tiiing]

Glad you liked this! Thanks for the review!