Just a few heartbeats away

Her heart stopped beating when she saw him.

My heart stopped beating for you today.
I saw you smile in a distance, and it just stopped. Right away.
It felt like a fire had been lit aflame in my heart.
Melting, smoking, rising, burning; all a bittersweet symphony, an art.
I could feel my body's need for oxygen due to my lack of breath.
I just stood there, in a daze, despite the burning in my chest.
Soon, my legs collapsed beneath me, my hands started to shake,
But my eyes never once left you, even in their wake.
People started to point and stare at me, the girl laying in the street.
Some started to poke and shake me, always careful not to break me.
Some muffled a cry of horror, while others tried to call for help.
They picked me up, away from your smiling face, the face that stopped the world; my heart as well.
I wanted to cry out, but I was petrified, frozen.
They were taking me away from you! My one and only haven!
They pushed on my chest, and tried to give me breath,
But it was too late.
For my heart stopped beating, when your gaze drifted my way.

Reviews

[Daniel]

Oh, wow.
This is like a tragic love song.
Very well written but sad, yet again.

However, I find it refreshing that she loved him so much that by just a glance, he's able to make her feel like that. On the downside, I don't like that he unintentionally kills her. It makes it all seem too... tragic, I guess is the right word.

Great write, though. :)

[Just Charles]

Nicely done. I get a "can't live without you" kind of tone here. Nice imagery, the tone was smooth and simple. And in love, we only wish it were that simple.