Life Story

This is the start of my personal statement for college. I want to get people opinions on it and if it needs to been trashed or just worked on.

My dream is to get my PHD in English. I want to become a college professor. 

There really isn’t anything that shaped my dream. My life has been different from other 

peoples, but I don’t think it had much of an impact on what I want to do. However is does make me want to change myself and graduate from school. The biggest thing in my life is my family. They are important because they have showed me that without the essential “things” in life, like an education or a strong household, you can fall through the cracks, but in some cases you are capable of getting up and dusting your self off.

I love my family, and they are a great support to me. The only problem is that I 

have seen how hard life can be. I come from a one in a million kind of home. My parents 

had me when they were very young and they are still happily married. Not to mention that my sister and I are nothing like the rest of out family. My parents got into some bad stuff when they were younger and it has haunted them forever, but they gave up the “ghetto” life for their family. They didn’t want my sister or me to become them or act the way they did. I see now that it was a huge sacrifice because they cut off many people, including some of my other family. 

I feel like my family has taught me so much without even trying. I have grown to see the world differently from many people because of the way I was raised. I believe that I question things much more than anyone else even if I don’t say anything. I don’t believe what I am told very often, but I look into things myself and look for my own reasons on why or how. 

My family makes me realize that life could be better, but it could also be worst. I feel like I have been through hell and back before, but the whole time I had the support of my family and even when I am shattered I know I can still call for them and they will come. This has made me want to graduate with good grades and attend college. I want to make myself better than what I could be. I always feel like the odds are stacked against me and that one day I will fall into a hole and be unable to get out, but I know that if I keep doing what I am doing I will be able to break away from my feelings and start a new chapter in my family history. I will take the road less traveled. 

Author's Note

I would like someone to go through and correct EVERYTHING that is wrong. Thanks

Reviews

[Lina Grey]

First Paragraph:
"My life has been different from other peoples"-people's
"However is does make me want to change myself and graduate from school"-However, it does
"but in some cases you are capable of getting up and dusting your self off."-yourself (also I would put 'but, in some cases, you' but that's not exactly necessary)

The second paragraph says a lot, but it doesn't explain much. You say knowing the hardships of life is a problem, but don't explain how or why. You say you and your sister are different from the rest of your family, but don't go into any detail. Perhaps you should go back through and fill in some of the holes there.

The third paragraph looks good.

The forth paragraph:
"My family makes me realize that life could be better"-I'm not sure about this, but personally the verb makes seems to be out of place there. I would say 'made' because I think past tense fits better, or possibly 'helps' or 'helped' because you see things your own way, regardless of too much outside influence.
"I feel like I have been through hell and back before, but the whole time I had the support of my family and even when I am shattered I know I can still call for them and they will come."-sounds like a run-on. I woud start a new sentence after 'support of my family.'
The ending is great, very powerful. I like the reference to Frost's well-known poem in comparison to how you live your life. Thank you.