apprehension at its finest

apprehension at its finest

A Poem by Amanda Macc
"

the truth about anxiety

"

it is the fear of fear.

walking on thin ice, 

knowing it will crack,

but always wondering when it will.

that thought will sit like a boulder

on your shoulders

in your mind

and force you to keep walking.

 

it is constant overthinking.

she says she cares about you,

but she's just saying that to please you.

in the back of your mind,

there's a sliver of light,

but the storm clouds roll in

and thunder claps sound like the words

"just give up... she doesn't care... she's moved on already."

 

it is the repetition of the common playground phrase:

"step on the line, break your mama's spine"

sweat leaks from the surface of your skin

as the lines in the sidewalk become too frequent and unavoidable.

you focus on each and every step as if

it really could snap your mother's spine like a toothpick.

 

my cries for help are denied by parents

who say "you're just overreacting",

shut down by friends saying "you just have to get over it",

and pushed away by my inner thoughts trying to convince me "in a week it won't bother me",

but there's the devil on my shoulder who successfully implies "what if it does... it probably will... don't listen to them... they don't know your mind".

 

it is ignored,

exaggerated,

and an adjective for basic worries that fade into nothingness in minutes.

it is more than pre-test jitters

and the rush of adrenaline before the big game.

 

it is feeling closed-in, locked out, and nonexistent all at once.

you have the key to unlock a worry-free life but you don't know where you last put it.

so you spend your life 

frantically and anxiously searching for it,

until it wears you down to nothing.

© 2016 Amanda Macc


Author's Note

Amanda Macc
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I absolutely love this piece, its so accurate and true to life, full of thought and true emotion, looking forward to more from you.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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1 Review
Added on December 19, 2016
Last Updated on December 19, 2016
Tags: anxiety, mental illness, help, support, anxious, fear, phobias, phobic, overthinking, poem, poetry, disorders

Author

Amanda Macc
Amanda Macc

Tampa, FL



About
i'm a poet, animal lover, and gay bean who really enjoys apple cider, my girlfriend, dogs, and sunsets. more..