Why?

How could you?

How could you sleep with her knowing I already had trust issues?

Was she prettier, skinnier, better?

Or did I mean nothing to you?

Was she the first?

Or were there more before her that I was too naive to notice?

Why did I have to wait to believe until after you’re gone,

until I feel used, extra, disgusting?

What was I to you?

A bank, sex doll, lover?

Or do I continue to believe you loved me?

No, I’m trying to believe I’m better than that, but you made that very difficult

The way you touched me, talked to me, held me

Meanwhile you did the same to her too

You had me fooled for way too long

And now, I cant stop seeing it

The thought of you used to make my stomach feel weird

It still does, but in the worst possible way

Churning, nauseous, uneasy

Why did you do this?

Did I not make you happy?

Was I not satisfying?

Why couldn't you just tell me?

Why couldn't I be enough?

You were my first, my everything, my love

I thought you’d be my forever

You were near perfect in my eyes

Love was the biggest blur

You said they were lying, jealous, stupid

You said you thought we'd last forever

You said you only wanted me 

But you also thought I’d never find out.

But I did, not all at once

Bit by bit, the puzzle pieces all fit together

And with each new piece, my heart broke a little more

But why would you care?

Everyone tells me to move on, get over it, its in the past

And I know I should

but i cant get the thought out of my head

"Why weren’t you enough?"

So I cried in my pillow, kept my thoughts to myself, and found my silver relief

I’m trying, hoping, that I can trust again

But that’ll be your legacy I guess

Forever trapping me in your tobacco soaked fingers

Reviews

[Ariya]

It's really beautiful how you poured your emotions.

[Ghania]

A lost Love. Crying for the one you loved.
You've written it very well. :)



"Love was the biggest blur"
This was so amazing!