Insecurity

how I feel about myself and my body

I'm so exhausted. So tired of trying so hard everyday. 

This mirror, how can it make me cry so easily?

Why am I so upset with the person looking back at me?

I hate my reflection, everything about me is wrong.

These legs of mine, they are not skinny enough, 

my stomach, it's much too large, 

and my face is not pretty. 

I haven't felt beautiful in months.

I am not just jealous of perfect girls, but I'm mostly jealous 

of girls who can look at themselves in the mirror, and be happy....

comfortable with who they are.. I don't think I'll ever be like that.

Maybe.. if I just skip this meal, or I don't eat all day, it will be easier,

every one of my instincts is screaming no. 

I know this is not the way, and I know this is bad but it's so easy, a way out.

Even though a part of me is screaming no, the mirror is screaming yes.

How does the mirror dictate my actions, and not me?