White Cage

My classmates in my creative writing class have seen this as a love poem. My step mom as an abusive relationship. And I wrote this while vainly chatting a crush, hoping for some spark to become lit.

What if I just cut you,

and slit open your skin

to see the beige flesh

pulsing?

 

Would you let me

hold the plum

hiding behind your

white cage?

 

I can hear it,

calling my name.

Or maybe it’s you

screaming, needing me

to stop.

 

I did the same,

when you tore my thin papery lungs

and stole my winds.

And autumn leaves

stood still within my cage,

and my winds

whistled in your ears

my name.

 

Your ears

beat to your soul

the notes

that tell my story.

 

At the sound of my name

sounding from those cracked lips,

my mask is gone

in your eyes

my skin flakes and peels;

it melts. I am raw,

beige flesh and scratched plum. Weak,

and as you kick and scream

I feel myself breaking

 

I shatter to

enter your white cage,

though so sturdy

and shiny,

the spaces between each rib

open for my own

shattered skeleton.

 

I feel free,

as my own cage

descends upon your plum

and I hear it burst.

I hear it bursting

and your screams

tighten.

 

You join me

in freedom.

Author's Note

In your reviews please tell me what you think is happening! I hope you can understand the image I am painting, and if you don't it is my job as the writer to make you! I've submitted this to a poetry contest and am desperately waiting on the results-- so no feedback is as cruel as this anticipation. Please be blunt!

Reviews

[Sarahthirk]

The main thing I'm getting from this is when someone loves someone else, and the other person doesn't know it. The person in love feels that the crush is so stupid for not seeing it, and gets so angry that the person can take it out on the crush. The crush eventually sees that he/she is loved by the person, and they end up together. So it's kind of a combination of all the things in the description.