My World's Melting Away

a poem i had to write in English 4 class. One of my favorites.

My World's Melting Away

 

I knew those sweet, innocent words you said were never true                  

I must have been a fool to actually fall for you

I thought you were a sweet guy

Now my world is melting away slowly and all I do is cry

 

I think that's really messed up of you

When the whole time you knew

You didn't like me

But I was blind and didn't see

 

You just messed with my head

Even though you know I've been hurt before and I hope you drop dead

One day it will happen to you

You'll really like someone, but she'll be playing you too

 

All I have to say is "What goes around comes around"

And it's your turn to be the clown!

My world is melting away

Reviews

[Angela]

i clicked the wrong thing..Thanks for the help

[Clouded in Hopeful Illu..]

Very nice work. The only thing that I seem to be at fault here is in the second stanza, the third line. It really doesn't seem to fit in at all. Maybe it is to short compared to all the other sentences and that is why. Vise Versa, in the third stanza second line, it seems to be too long.

[Moonlit-Blues]

ah, the emotions and the realisation shine through the words, lovely image though, 'my world's melting away'. Lovely introspective, lovely wording, lovely poem!

[Kara Emily Krantz]

"When the whole time you knew

You didn't like me"

nothing is worse than that. it hurts the most in the end - like you were constantly betrayed every moment of the relationship. i liked how you were able to put that into words

hugs

[Sarah]

Wow, great poem Angela. You've really put a lot of feeling into this. It just screams heartache and anger. Just what you might feel in a break up. And it really helps when Your words flow together wonderfully. Great work.

[[untitled]]

Great poem! I think this poem was very emotional. The structure was good. The poem flowed well. I really liked it.