"I'm Sorry"

I tried to forget. 
Your slimy hands and twisted smirk. 
I tried to forget the first time I went to church for church. 
I tried to be happy when I had sex for the second time, 
And I tried to be happy when people told me about their successes.
I tried to show you my heart, but there was nothing there when you came along. 
I wanted to swallow you whole, and beg you till I belonged. 
I tried to tell my parents I’m depressed, 
And then I tried to tell them I wanted to die,
The last thing I remember from last night, was praying to an empty sky. 
I tried to get over this, and I’ve tried to be brave,
But the harder I try at those things, 
The more my fingers start to crave.
Attention and lust,
A bedroom full of false beauty and rust, 
I’ve been taught my body is forsaken, 
And I believe this soul of mine cannot be reawakened.