How Much

This is something I wrote for my late grandfather. I lost him when I was seven years old and I still miss him as much today as the day we lost him.

I wonder if you know how much I miss you.

I wonder if you know how much it hurt when you left.

I wonder if you know that I cried for weeks.

I wonder if I will ever realize that you aren't coming back.

I wonder if my heart will ever heal to the pain that is caused by your absence.

Why did you have to leave?

Your wings were ready, but my heart wasn't. 

I miss your laugh.

Your voice.

Seeing your smile.

The way your eyes crinkled when you smiled.

They way you comforted me when I was hurt.

When I cried.

I'm crying while writing this.

I wonder if you can fell the hurt I have in my heart.

Why did losing you fell like the end of the world?

Why did it hurt so much?

Will it ever end? 

Or will I spend the rest of my life in this head space?

Missing you...