Femme Fatale

Her toxic presence

 

Poisoned his soul, and

 

Love died painfully.

Reviews

[C. Harter Amos]

A lot said with so few words. Very venomous. I read this as "her" meaning the woman in the relatinoship, being "toxic" and poisoning an innocent. Not a likely scenario, but maybe she believes it's so from blaming herself. I went back over it thinking the "her" could be another woman -- not necessarily another lover, but perhaps a mother or mother-in-law or even a friend. Pretty wicked depth of meaning for such a short piece.

[Nicole Renee]

I really liked this. :]

[Imperfection]

Thanks Anne.

I've fixed it.

[Anne Martin]

While I like it strictly as a poem, isn't the meter incorrect? A senyru is usually 5/7/5 syllables and you have 5/7/7.

As an alternative, you could change the last line to:

Love died painfully.

[Fran Marie]

A wonderful Senryu ~so nicely expressed and well penned~Fran Marie~