Do You Notice Me

When I walk by you,

Do you notice me?

 

When I talk to you,

Do you notice me?

 

When I say your name,

Do you notice me?

 

When I dance in front of you,

Do you notice me?

 

Do you notice me?

Do you notice me?

All I can think of is,

Do you notice me?

 

When I say a joke,

When I laugh real loud,

When tell you that I wish I was on a fluffy cloud,

Do you notice me?

 

At the end of the day,

When there is no play,

You come by me and say,

I notice you, but do you notice me?

 

 

 

Reviews

[Jonathan Ballam]

This is a great idea that you have going there in the poem.

I would suggest you make the refrain "Do you notice?" throughout the poem and then possibly put in the 'me' in the last line. Just a thought this is still a creative, and refreshing wrestle with words.

Bravo ;)

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good poem. I would notice you. If you are half alive as your words. You have a good spirit. Poem dances on the tongue. A pleasure to read. Thank you.
Coyote

[Simplicity]

It's like middle/high school all over again. it reminds me of school crushes and boys and girls try to find out if their crush likes 'em or not. Great poem.

[Mariana Silva]

Interesting poem, it reminds me alot of typical school crushes where girls and boys play their cards around to figure or not whether their crushes like them...good job