Enslaving Piety

Is it about a woman....or something else?

Life may be utterly crazy
but it can also become very hazy
Like you loved me then
but now you hate me?
How could that even be thought of,
yet actually happen

It seems like only yesterday that we were naked in bed, laughing
about things normal people would consider evil but we kept laughing
That's what I love about you, I stay smiling and laughing
Wherever we were, you made me happy and I kept laughing

Like I was high on drug that kept me reacting
to your captivating beauty and intelligence that had me acting
like a little child running wild in a candy shop
I am not sure I would be able to survive
and stay alive if not for medicinal pot
Just thinking about you makes me break into a sweat
and my cheeks feel hot like I have been caught in a lie
but the truth is I will love you until I die.
I guess in this god-damned life,
one has to try
to live even if every night,
the thought of you makes me cry
Thinking of you is never easy
because it makes my stomach queasy
Just like anything I feel is real,
I know in the end you will leave me
alone at Redwood Ivy most likely repeatedly
Its like you course through my blood
and my love is like an itch that you cannot see
It's a f*****g cliche to have the nerve to say,
I am my own worse enemy
I guess it is that reason I know eventually
you will for sure just f*****g leave
So I guess I should kill you,
drowning deep within my toilet
before you tell me to stop it,
there's a needle in my hand
and I know you want me to hold it
My God I love you as my body convulsively shakes
As my very Soul is seemingly raped
It's amazing that as much as I love you
It is myself that you seem to make me hate.....
Andrew N. Farrens
West Stockton, California
May 1, 2016

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Strong and honest thoughts in the words.
"My God I love you as my body convulsively shakes
As my very Soul is seemingly raped
It's amazing that as much as I love you
It is myself that you seem to make me hate..... "
The above lines. I liked them a lot. Left the reader with question and possibilities. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Cole Hayley]

just realized i rated it a 7 out of 100 i meant 75. sorry abotu that

[Cole Hayley]

i really think that this piece has huge potential, but there are some lines i do have a problem with. for example i think the whole first stanza needs to be strengthened, i dont like the use of "very hazy", it seems juvenile.

I really enjoy the second stanza and i really enjoy the formating of the thing. I would take away "the thought of you makes me cry" and i wouldn't use "queasy", it stops the flow. Your use of f*****g works here but be careful with it.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A highly descriptive piece that graduates to subtle feeling, well done.