First

Pains of being the other choice.

Is it too much to ask for someone to put me first? I know that sounds selfish. But what is more selfish is to abuse the fact that someone out there is making you a priority in their life. What tears me apart is being the other option. As if I don't have anything better to do because I could...I just choose to still put you ahead because I care that much about you. I'm not here just to be a convenience to you. I'm not here just to be around you when your other option doesn't want to be. I'm not always going to wait around like you think I will. But I will wait. I don't mind waiting, only if I knew there was some hope that you would pick me. I wouldn't be around if there wasn't any hope. I find hope within the sparks that fly when our eyes meet. I find hope in our "never got out of touch" conversations. I find hope when you admit you miss me when in reality I have missed you more. I find hope when we reminisce about the memories that never seem to fade. But just as everything else in this world, hope will eventually fade. I'm here waiting that you will pick me before it does. I am waiting. Clinging on to the slightest bit of hope that is left, while you are out there putting me last when you were always my first.