Mine

He set a time to f**k

I laughed and coughed up dust

It's a nice thought 

You'd like it to be rough

I'd love for you you blow me away

to take me and twist me up like a tornado does

you could destroy my life

cause one day I'd look into your eyes

and it would change 

he said you don't have to hurt yourself 

to feel something 

I knew he was right 

but I'm craving that sting

the thing that makes me jump 

that changes everything 

bored with consistency 

bored with stability

cause deep down I think it can never be mine

He's a mirror, reflecting my own pain

I could see it in his slurred words

I could feel the anger through his hurt

he had to cover it up before I could see it 

But it's too late cause I'm a step ahead

he thought he got inside my head 

He wanted to make an imprint in my bed

I knew I deserved more 

but I haven't figured that out yet 

I made it out to be a joke

to every one that didn't understand the word no 

surprised when I didn't collapse under their spell

But I know this game all too well

We wanted different things 

And I thought I could be what they need

And they thought they could have my body

but she will always be mine  

We feed what we get given 

They could never be forgiven 

even thought they weren't him

I wanted him to blow my mind

but with love not touch 

I wanted him to care even thought he couldn't 

If I could get myself planted in his mind

then it would help me fill the absence 

but all he can hear is silence 

He thought he made the rules

he thought he was in control 

but they never really do

I win every game they attempt to play

won't ever be caught giving myself away

none of them could take his place

could give me back what I've lost

I'll stop looking for it in time

and realize that all I need is already mine