Cause of her

He was once happy

But then he became unhappy

He cried and cried

All because of her lies

He wanted to make things better

So he wrote he a short letter

As he wrote to her his mind became a blur

He about the good times they had shared

He knew that she cared

He Trying to keep fighting

And he kept on writing

He kept crying

Almost at the point of dying

Until he couldn’t take it anymore

So he dropped to the floor

And cut he throat

But he left behind the love note

Reviews

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I agree with Averia I liked it though. I liked the story as well. I think you did nice though. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Marlena]

Interesting, and I actually really like this because of how short it is. Sometimes short poetry can leave a big impact.

Again though, you should just look it over once or twice before you save it, like "wrote he a short letter" should be "wrote her a short letter". "He about the good times..." I'm guessing you just forgot the word "thought", and "He Trying to keep fighting", 'trying' shouldn't be capitalized and also you either forgot a word or 'trying' was supposed to be 'tried'. "And cut he throat" should be "and he cut his throat" (in my opinion this one is the biggest, since it's the ending and the climax of the poem).

I like the story this one tells though, good work. The poem would just be a bit better and read smoothly if you fixed these little mistakes. :)