Blinded infatuationA Poem by Anke Nellhmmm... a collection of words with a rhythmic nature?
As my breathing lingers in the silence of my darkened room
and the memories of what was hang as if their colors visible in the blurred lines of the absent gloom My thoughts come and go all too soon I see my face staring back at me with eyes where nothing seems to reside, but the darkness of my hollow mind. In pursuit of something yet knowing I will never find- find the pastured where my heart once resided, between the sweet summer blossoms of an everlasting ignorance induced springtime. Where the memories of happiness softly whisper notes sweeter then her touch as she sings sings to me with the occasional off-note reminding me of the pain she also brings. How she comes and goes leaving her lingering scent on my clothes How she holds my hand and promises the world, yet leaves me lost in the chambers of her absence blinded but not with eyes completely closed What is left of a once bountiful memory bare and exposed Exposed by the mission engulfed by the mindset of only you driving the vision as my inner clockworks circles around you in a solar system of its own design, my decisions, thoughts and memories lingering in my consciousness mind The warmth you bring becomes almost required for life to be a reality You muddle my mind with moments driven by lust leaving pain but a vague concept just beyond what my finger tips grasp As I come to comprehend the smashed pieces stained with the deepest scarlet you left in your wake You slowly push me to the boundaries of functionality and the will to hold on to a inconvenienced reality only letting the endless murmurs of the soft falling rain fall on the very pieces you left unclaimed As the waters wash away any evidence of what was once the domineering imprint of the scriptures engraved under the silicone walls of my brain As i wander the echoes of the emptiness searching for a sign Hoping there is possibly a remnant you left behind To just cling to the familiarity of what i now struggle to fathom to be sanity Anything to silence the numbness that has now overgrown the pathways, forcing me to search as your wake leads me to seek what is now no longer there to find Overpowered by your ability to overthrow my actions Stone after stone... the destruction lingers for what feels like eternities in the darkness of my thoughts, yet the reminder of your momentary presence never present for long enough to leave your promises a bay As the memory of yours sweet fingers against my skin slowly become less and less clear and what you once were now never lingers too near I observe the swimming thoughts with strokes driven by pursuit of anything but the numbness echoing silently screaming through the now seemingly eternal hollow walls Making the presence of the soon faded moments be left in the wake as my thoughts drift slowly from my now cold reality leaving my fingers unwilling to acknowledge your wake unwilling to move with now only excuses lingering in contemplation creating fast movementless lakes as functionality my will collapses as my walls tumble yet never fall Often chasing the shadow cast over her echos of silence with Scriptures now void of happiness but also resistant to her harm Trying to understand the newly found celestial role that no real relevance will soon demand She no longer riddles the pathways of my mind, but her presence always lingering as I pursue the mask of the momentary highs...
© 2015 Anke NellAuthor's Note
|
Stats
106 Views
Added on September 6, 2015 Last Updated on September 6, 2015 AuthorAnke NellPretoria, uhmmm... earth... , South AfricaAboutJust another student to my circumstantial reality. not much to be said... favorite word that often describes the labyrinth of my thoughts- "I don't do drugs, I am drugs" Salvador Dahli more..Writing
|