Eyes Sparkling With Sorrow

If you look a little closer, you'll see that her eyes are sparkling with sorrow.

I was backstage with Berta, trying to calm her down. She was freaking out so badly and I felt useless. When she suddenly blurted:

-Oh my gosh, I will get stuck! -She said, in Catalan*-I won't be able to talk in English! I will be completely frozen and no words will come out of my mouth!

-

Berta was from Barcelona, had been born and raised there. Her English wasn't remarkable but she could make herself clear with a bit of effort. She flew to Los Angeles to attend to "The X Factor " Auditions, because she and I have a group. In said group, she's the singer and I am the composer, the lyrics writer and the pianist.

-

-Calm down, Please! - I said - You just have to answer their questions, and I don't think it will be that hard.

-It will! I won't be able to say a word! Come with me! Please, I beg you, com with me and be the translator. This way, they will meet the composer of the song.

-No way I'm doing that! You can do it by yourself, there's absolutely no need for me to come. If I did, which I won't, it would be so awkward to stand there saying I'm the composer and the translator...

-But...I need you. You can talk in English like you do in Spanish or Catalan...Please! -She begged.

 

After a long argument, she won. I still don't know how she did it, but she won.

 

Suddenly, I found myself walking to the stage, and now, it was my turn to freak out. I was about to be a translator, a goddamn translator! Not just that, Berta wanted me to introduce myself as the composer.

 

-Hello! -Demi said -, what are your names? Wait, why are you two people and it's just listed one, in the girls category?

-Berta...and... - Berta said

-Mmm...yes, what she wants to say is that she's the contestant. I'm just the translator. She understands, but she's so nervous that she's not capable of speaking in English right now, because it isn't her mother  tongue. - I stuttered.

-I la compositora! - she said.

-She wants me to say that I'm the composer and the writer of the song. I don't think that that is important. I can leave if it's not allowed...-I said in shaky voice.

-All right, I don't think there's a problem, with you being here - Demi said-; so you're going to sing an original song. Wow!

-Yes - Berta said-Berta said -. Digues-los també que està basada en com et sents.

-Umm... She wants me to tell you that...it's...it's kind of based on how I feel but...

-Sweetie, it's all right, really. I think I can already tell what it is about. The moment you walked in, just with a glare you showed it to me - Demi said-, I'd like to talk to you later, if it's okay with you to wait.

-Sure, I guess...

Then, the typical questions followed and I realized that Berta really needed me. She wasn't able to mute a word in English. However, when I left the stage and the music started, she performed outstandingly, but it wasn't heartfelt. My opinion was shared with the judges and, to let her speak, they made me walk back into the stage.

The judges reach a conclusion. Against my will, I found myself enrolled in their decision, although I had begged not to, because I really can't sing, they asked me to sing it.

The music started one again, and all the world vanished.

 

After having been happy,

you left, never looking back

Answers unsaid, breathing guilt

there was something that lacked.

 

How was I supposed to feel?

sadness overwhelmed me,

I replayed everything,

What had I done wrong?

 

Maybe I wasn't funny,

maybe I wasn't smart,

but I was there when you needed it,

and for you I've been strong.

 

My hearts was melting with pain at the words I knew I was feeling.

 

Days, then months, then years went by,

Haven't heard from you since then,

and I can't help but wonder,

was it really my fault?

 

Now I hold my head high,

but sorrow fills my veins.

An explanation is all I'm seeking,

it's all I've ever longed.

 

Maybe I wasn't special ,

maybe I wasn't cute,

but I was there when you needed it,

and for you I've been strong.

 

I hadn't sung well, I was aware of it.

 

-You're not a good singer - Simon said -,but you've poured your whole soul into the song.

-You are 14 and you write like you were older - Demi said.

-Should we carry on with the votes? - Paulina said.

Each judge criticized Berta's lack of feeling and, as I already knew, my lack of singing talent. We got four no's but we left matured.

 

As Demi had requested, I waited for her. When she arrived she led me to a lively but quiet room and said out loud everything that I had been feeling. Somehow, she realized my deepest fears, my truest feelings and my greatest hopes.

-I know all of this for the way your eyes have been sparkling since you walked into the stage. The way they have probably sparkled for a long time. Your smile might tell that you're the happiest girl alive, but I'm afraid your eyes betray you. She hugged me tight while I was welling up in tears.

-You should be more honest  in your song - she said-, there are lines when you tell real part of how you feel, but you and I know you don't feel the way you do because of what you explain in the song- at this words, I couldn't help but hug tighter-.

-Remember. Stay Strong- she said showing her wrists-,and embrace who you are, even if you now don't feel capable of doing it. You will.

-

*Catalan is a Romance language named for its origins in the region of Catalonia, in what is nowadays northeastern Spain and adjoining parts of France. It is the national and only official language of Andorra,[4] and a co-official language of the Spanish autonomous communities of Catalonia, the Balearic Islands, and the Valencian Community (where it is also known as Valencian).

 

TRANSLATION CATALAN TO ENGLISH

-I la compositora! : And the composer!

Digues-los també que està basada en com et sents. : Tell them, too, that it's based in how you feel.

Author's Note

please,review what you think.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A amazing story. I have a collection of stories from Spain. Each country with their own personality and thoughts. I like the set-up of the story. I like the giving of confident to the young girl. I enjoyed the tale. I like the feel of Spain and the inaction of the characters. Thank you for sharing the outstanding story.
Coyote

[Lee Hall]

Interesting choice of character background, but the again i could see how the entire story would change if it were otherwise. Very well done

[A. Garcia Sagarra]

thank you so much!