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It was Denny Smith's first birthday. She crawled into the biggest castle in Monkey's Kingdom that took up half of the room. She liked the smell. It smelled like vanilla white frosting. She grinned and bounced. She looked out the tiny 'window' to see her father carrying her older sister Lani up the slide. "Daddy!" She yelled and her dad glanced over and smiled. She looked around for my mom, and found her across the room and pounded her fist on the table. "What do you mean I have to share a room with another family for my daughters birthday? I was sure that Party Room C was empty for this date until I asked for a reservation for my daughters birthday." The man looked around. "I'm sorry Miss but things happen. The rooms big enough for two families and they are very nice people." She sighed. "Who are they?"
              The man looked around. "Ah, there they are. Mr. and Miss. Tosh." A black man with shinning white teeth and a little girl with piggy tales along with a short black woman holding hands with a little black boy walked to them. "What seems to be the problem?" The man asked, placing his little girl down. "Hi, I'm Savanna Smith and it seems that we are sharing Party Room C for our children's birthdays." The woman smiled. "Thats fine with us. Hi, I'm Suzen, This is my hisban Henry, my son Smith and my daughter Jada." "Oh how nice. My husbans name is John, my daughters name is Lori and my other daughters name is Denny, she s the birthday girl."

Reviews

[SuicidePact.]

aw this was great!

[Mathias Winters]

Very well written. You capture the view of the character very well. I would keep going with this though. It seems a little odd to stop the chapter where you did.