She looked so beautiful

How do you know when you're in love? Especially when its your first love? This is a short story of Damian and Calli and the night that changed their friendship forever.

                She looked so beautiful, right there, right then. Her hair was a tangled mess that was casually pulled back in a loose pony tail. Some hairs were free and covered part of her face, only drawing more attention to the beauty and simplicity of it, of her. The thing that was truly beautiful about her was that she didn’t try to be beautiful; she just was. It kills me that she doesn’t see herself how I see her, it physically pains me when she doesn’t believe my compliments but still smiles and thanks me, even though I can see in her face she doesn’t believe them. I liked her because she was different than most girls. You usually see girls walking around with tight, low cut tops and short shorts; or jeans that are two sizes too small. She however, wore a long sleeved shirt, there wasn’t any cleavage nor did it reveal anything. Her jeans weren’t too tight but hugged her hips and long legs perfectly. Normally, guys wouldn’t notice her if she was walking next to the other girls, but then again, those aren’t the guys you would want. The type of guy you should have is the type that thinks you are beautiful and not just attracted to your body. She knows this, but I can still see that little twist of hurt in her face when others ignore her and gravitate to the “pretty” girls.

                Her eyes. I can’t, there isn’t a word to describe how deep and sorrowful yet loving and gorgeous they are. Right now she with her staring at big moon in the dark sky with her hairy messy and her knees hugged up to her chest, her face in total awe as she stares up longingly into the sky, she is mesmerizing. I can’t stop looking at her, but I don’t want to. She glances over at me realizing reality was running loose while she was in her own little world. She smiles showing teeth and her hidden dimples and I can’t help but foolishly smile back. “What?” she asks me while still smiling. I can’t control my face, so in a great big dorky grin I manage to say “nothing.” She reaches over to me and I don’t know what she is thinking or of what she wants to do. My head starts filling really fast with all different thoughts, my heart starts beating so fast it would bring a humming bird’s to shame.

                She shoves me playfully and rolls her eyes. Not exactly what I expected, but I wouldn’t change that moment for the world. I playfully shove her back and she loses her balance and tips over. I’m immediately on my knees right next to her, “are you okay? I am SO sorry, did I hurt you? I’m so so so sorry!” I didn’t know what else to say. I don’t know what I would do if I hurt her. She just lies there silently with her eyes closed. Her breathing is steady and calming, her hair is covering her face. I scoot closer to her and whisper her name. she doesn’t respond so I do it again only closer to her face now. I lightly move her hair out of her face and tuck it behind her hair. I’ve seen guys do that in movies before and I have always wanted to try it. I stroke her cheek and asked with a shaky voice “Calli, please wake up, please don’t be hurt”. I am so close to her right now. I could be her Prince Phillip and kiss her right now to break the evil spell. But I don’t. I see her face start to smile just in the corner of her mouth. “I’m dead” she whispered/yelled. This made me smile, which then made her smile even more. “No princess! Don’t be dead! That’s not good! Come back to life, walk away from the light. I repeat, walk away from the light!” a small breathy chuckle escapes her mouth, but she is keeping her eyes shut. “Well, I guess if you’re dead, then I can just…” I reach over and start tickling her in her ribs. Luckily, she is ticklish everywhere so it always works. She lets out a huge laugh while her body subconsciously contorts so she is scrunching up trying to get away from my grip. Her hands fly over mine and try to stop them, but I’m not going to let up. She lets out one big snort and I can’t help but just let out a big laugh. She finds a way to escape my fingers and desperately tries to get up to her feet. She does, but so do I. She tries to run away but I’m too fast. I wrap my arms around her waist and start tickling her again. She sinks all her weight down so I am almost holding her up. While doing this she also is leaning in more towards me and soon is right in my chest  with her hand grasping my shoulder. “No… stop… I’m gonna… I’m gonna pee my pants!! Damien!! Noooo!!” I stop because knowing her she actually would pee her pants. My arms are wrapped around her and she is snuggling in close to me. She stands up a little bit more for she had been slightly crouching before. She is still so small compared to my body, my arms. I look down at her and find her staring up at me biting her lip. Her eyes are focused on my mouth and then wander up to my eyes. She wants me to kiss her. Any guy could tell. I pause momentarily to remind myself to always remember this moment. Of course, being the awkward dorky girl she is, she fills the silence/ stare off by sticking her tongue out at me and scrunching up her nose. I grab her tongue and she seems surprised at first, but then knows I wouldn’t do anything that she wouldn’t like. I expected her to sort of fight though, like try to free her tongue or bite my hand, but she doesn’t. She just stands there with her big eyes staring me into my eyes, like a dog waiting for a treat. “That’s mean.” I say, while still holding her tongue. She doesn’t say anything but just keeps staring up at me. “That hurt Cal. I am hurt.” I keep on saying. Its killing me not to just grab her and kiss her hard, but I know I can’t. I start to walk away over towards the play structure. She just stands there behind me studying what I am doing. I sit on the edge of the slide with my back towards her. I hear her light footsteps behind me, then feel her warmth. Her skinny arms wrap around my neck from behind and she puts her cheek against mine. It would be so easy to quickly turn my head and kiss her cheek right now. “Please forgive me?” she whispers. “I can’t Cal.” “Plleeaassee?” she presses her cheek harder against mine. I start to tremble and pray that she doesn’t notice.

                She steps around me and now stands directly in front of me. She looks so tall as I’m sitting, but if I were to stand I would be a mountain to her mole hill. She looks me dead in the eyes. I can’t read her. I NEVER know what she is thinking or what she will do next. Usually, with other girls I can tell what they want, but not her. Then again, she isn’t anything close to other girls.

                She grabs my hands and wraps them in hers. They are small but still give off a wonderful warmth. She knees down now still staring at me. The thoughts start flooding my mind again. She isn’t like this? She isn’t THAT type of girl. But if she were to undo my belt would I stop her? No. yes! She interrupts my thoughts, “don’t get your hopes up big boy, I’m not going to do what your horny boy brain thinks I am.” And with that her face got all sweet again and I really didn’t know how to feel or respond to this. I was relieved, but not like that! I mean, I want that stuff to happen between us… but not here. Not in a park. It should be romantic and more… I don’t know… but I don’t like picturing us doing that because then I get my hopes up, and gah she’s just so much more than that to me. “Damien, I am sorry I hurt you. I mean it. It was mean of me. I really hope you can forgive me and we can resolve this problem. After all, we are married, and married people have to talk about their issues.” I almost laughed at this, remembering when we were five and we got “married”. I still have the rock she gave me as her ring to me. I also remember she didn’t want to be kissed so I had to kiss her hand instead.

                She let’s go of my hands and stands up. I follow and do the same. Now I am the taller one and it feels sort of nice. She cracks a little hopeful smile and I let out a big sigh. Her smile widens and my arms fly open. She comes in for a hug but instead I sweep an arm behind her legs and pick her up. She claws onto my shoulders for dear life. She is completely weightless. I could hold her like that for hours. “OH my god! Don’t drop me!!” “Don’t worry, I won’t.” “Wait no, I feel like I am crushing you!!!” “you aren’t. You’re easy to hold.” I can’t believe I just said that. But it’s out and I can’t take it back. She smiles weakly and I can see something hidden in her eyes. “you sure? You can put me down I won’t be offended.” Liar. If I put her down she will be offended. If not offended, then really hurt. I have no intent on letting her go anywhere right now, but for her just to stay in my arms. This is the moment when a guy usually says something really nice about the girl’s weight. Like “you’re a twig!” or “there is no way that YOU could ever crush me.” But I know if I said that she wouldn’t believe it, and she would just roll her eyes and want to be put down.

                Still carrying her I walk over to a cold wooden bench. I sit down while still holding onto her so she will sit in my lap. She starts to tremble. “What’s wrong? You’re shaking.” My voice comes out way more concerned than I had intended. She smiles sheepishly and looks down at the ground “nothing” she coos. I lift my right arm so it is no longer around her waist, but now moving her face towards mine. “you’re a horrible liar.” She keeps shaking but she plays it off cooly. “haha honestly though everything is good! I’m just sort of cold… but not at the same time… you know?” I knew exactly what she meant. When I’m holding her and I focus on the places where her skin isn’t touching mine, the fall air sends a freezing message its still there which leaves goosebumps all over my body. Then, when I focus on her and her warmth it disappears, only more goose bumps cover my body. “do you want to go home now?” I gently say to her. Her eyes get bigger “no! I don’t, I really don’t want to go anywhere right now. This… this is perfect and I want it to last as long as it can.” My response to her was grabbing her waist and pulling her tighter towards me. I was squeezing her so tight against my body that I was worried it would hurt her. But she reassured my it was okay but wrapping her arm around my neck and stroking the hair at the back of my head, while also stroking my neck. I want her. I need her. But she isn’t mine to take. She isn’t a trophy and she should never be seen that way. Granted, I don’t think of her like that, but I’m worried she will think I do.

                She moves her head up from her little warm nest she made in my arms and before I could even process what was happening I feel her lips leaving mine. It was a simple, sweet, soft kiss. I wanted more, but she snuggled down back into my arms.

                “are you still awake?” I ask softly. The last 15 minutes we haven’t said one word to each other. We just held on and listened to each other’s heartbeat. It was the type of silence that spoke so many words. It wasn’t awkward, it was perfect. “no.” It’s muffled but I can still sort of make it out. I move my arms a little so she will come out of her little nest and look at me. She smiles and so do I. “Come on, its cold out here. We can go to my house and I can put on the fire and we can get warmed up.” My parents were gone for four days. Her parents thought she was sleeping over at a friend’s house. She slides off my lap and stands. I stand up to and we start walking towards my house. She took no hesitation at all. She slides her small delicate cold hand into mine and locks it tight. Then with her other arm she reaches across her chest and grabs onto my arm for extra security. Its nice to know that I’m not the only one hanging on to her, wanting to touch her. Because she wants to touch me and hang onto me as well.

                My front door is locked so we slide through the backyard gate. Before I open the door to my house she stops. I look at her to make sure she’s okay. She’s no longer holding my hand but instead is crossing her arm against her chest, hiding her hand in her sleeve, while she is biting the nail of her other arm. I step closer to her. “You can have my bed, I will sleep on the floor or the couch.” That was the original plan after all. Then out of no where she rushes towards me like she hasn’t seen me in years. Her hands reach up and cusp my jaw and she pulls me into her. Her lips are so soft and her hands keep moving around. They go from cusping my jaw, to one sliding through my hair and down the back of my neck. Then her other hand grabs my neck and with arched shoulders she pulls me in closer. I didn’t even hesitate. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. The kiss turns into one that is way more passionate… way more sensual.

                I slide open my back door and I enter in backwards. We never once stop kissing. I managed to somehow close the door and get to the top of my stairs leading down the hallway to my room without ever leaving her lips. She starts tugging on my shirt and I take it off and throw it on the ground. Goose bumps cover every inch of my body. “are you cold?” she asks breathlessly, only taking her lips away from mine for a second. “no. just… just happy.” I feel her hands on my skin. They are like ice. She is so cold I wish I could warm her up. They slide down my stomach to the top of my jeans where my briefs are sort of showing. This was the sign. This was the sign that she was into it. That she didn’t want to stop. She slid her hand back up my chest and through my hair. A wave of passion crashed into me and in one easy motion I pick her up so I am holding her. She wraps her legs around my hips and kisses me harder.

                We are about 1/4^th of the way down the hall to my room when I pin her against the wall. I slide off her shirt and she makes absolutely no signs that she doesn’t want it off. She throws it to the ground and starts kissing me again. She’s kissing my neck while I just stare at her gorgeous figure. She doesn’t have big b***s, but they aren’t that small either. They can easily be noticed if she tried to make them that way. Her soft lavender bra fits so nicely on her body. Supporting her b***s to make them more perky. Her stomach is flat and I am surprised she has no rolls. Usually, when people sit down their stomach has rolls. It doesn’t mean anything. EVERYONE has them, except for her.

                She pauses a bit aware that I’m admiring her body. I look up at her and then say staring at her lips “ you are so lovely, in  every single way.” She smiles and we start going at it again. This time she starts biting my lip and smiling while she kisses me. I don’t know why, but for some reason the next time she put her hands through my hair I lost all control. I pushed her harder against the wall. And kissed her like I have never kissed anyone before. It was aggressive, but she didn’t seem to mind. While still grabbing my hair she moves her neck to make it my next target. I go for it. Hard. I start kissing her on her neck and jaw and collar bones. She starts moaning a little bit letting me know she likes it, and she wants more. I bust the door open in my room and aim straight for my bed. I lay her down on it softly then I start kissing her again. We were in a weird position. I was standing over her and she was lying on my bed, but her feet were hanging off the edge. I grabbed her hips and hoisted her farther onto my bed. Once fully on, I got on as well, covering her body with mine. Her knees were bent up and I was right between them. Kissing her hard. I start to move my kisses from her mouth down to her jaw, down her neck, pass the collarbones and in between her breasts. She wants more. I kiss her stomach and inch farther towards her belly button. She’s gasping and her stomach contorts with my touch. I get to the band on her pants and look up at her. Her eyes are closed but she looks so happy. She looks down at me and gives me a half smile. Still breathing hard, she looks at me then her pants then back to me and smiles again. I unbutton her jeans and slide them off her pale legs. Her underwear is cute and makes me sort of chuckle. She stops and suddenly becomes super self conscious “what? What’s wrong?” she asks panicky “haha its not Tuesday! It’s Saturday! Your underwear should say Saturday on them! Not Tuesday!” she would wear underwear that say one day on a completely different day. “shut up” she teases and then pulls me up to her mouth. She changes her position so now I’m the one who is under her. She’s sort of to the side of me though and slides her right hand down my chest and to my pants. Her cold fingers slip under the little waistband of my briefs and she teases me. She is just at the surface of my jeans. If she went a few inches farther down nothing would be in her way to do whatever she wanted with me. I cover her hand and try to encourage her by lightly leading it down farther into my pants. She pulls her hand out and I feel like I have just made a TERRIBLE mistake.

                She reaches over my pants now and to the buckle of my belt. I feel so relieved. I thought I was pushing her too much and she didn’t like it. But instead she was undoing my pants. She pulls them off. My erection is very prominent but she doesn’t seem to mind. She slides her stomach over it and crawls up to my mouth. She Is now laying on  it and me as a whole, but it doesn’t hurt or feel uncomfortable in anyway. The way her body moves over it when she kisses me is intolerable. She can’t tease me like this, its not fair. She sits up and starts messing with something behind her back. Her bra graciously slides off her body and into her hand. She is holding it with two fingers then drops it on the floor beside me. She’s perfect.

                She lays down on me again and I can feel her on my chest. I flip her over so I’m on top once again and take full advantage of this opportunity. I kiss her breast so softly and she breathes heavily in arousal. Then I slide my hands from her b***s down to her sides and hold her tight. I feel something move near my crotch and I realize she is slowly sliding off her underwear. Then her hands slide underneath mine and grab my butt. She slowly tries to work them off me but I stop her. “Wait, are… are you sure?” she stares up at me and nods. I take off my briefs and throw them on the growing mound of clothes. There we were. Both completely exposed and vulnerable. “do… do you have…” she didn’t finish her sentence but I knew what she was asking. I leaned over her to the little shelf thing near my bed and pulled out a silver package. I open it and roll it on, I then lay right on top of her. “Are you sure you want to do this Cali?” “yes! Why do you keep asking?” “because Cali, this is your first time… it needs to be special.” “This is special.” “I don’t want to… its going to… It hurts Cali. It’s going to hurt your really bad to the point where you might bleed. It isn’t fun the first time. I don’t want to hurt you…” “hey, come on look at me Dame.” Her hands cup my jaw and I look straight into her eyes. “I know its going to hurt, I know It most likely won’t be fun the first time. But I want to. And with you. No one else. I will be okay, I promise.” Her face is soft and I know she is telling the truth. “Okay.. if you’re sure… if you want me stop just tell me, okay? Or if it starts to hurt too bad.” “I will, I promise.” I look at her for a second trying to study her. Then I reach down and grab my penis and she opens her legs. I close my eyes. If I’m hurting her I don’t want to see it. She’s so tight but it feels so good. She grabs the sheets and squeezes them hard. I hear her make a little noise and I see her closing her eyes and scrunching up her nose. She’s in pain. I can’t do this, I can’t hurt her! It was as if she had read my mind because before I could go further or pull out she says softly “I’m okay Damian. I promise. Please, keep going.” I move my hands to hers and wiggle my fingers in between her small dainty ones. I hold onto her hands hard, almost as if trying to make her mind go to that pain rather than the other one. I’m not all the way in yet, and It will hurt her way more if I just slowly do it. I thrust hard so I am all the way into her. She makes a little noise due to the pain but encourages me to keep going. I move my hips forward and back slowly at first. She’s hiding the pain well, but I know its unbearable to her. I want it to be done with. I want her to no longer be in pain and actually enjoy it. I close my eyes and start thrusting faster, then faster clenching down on her hands. I open my eyes briefly to see hers shut tightly, a tear escapes from her eye lash and falls down her cheek. What am I doing? I can’t do this to her! She’s crying, she’s in too much pain! “Its okay. I’m okay. Keep going. I’m fine I promise.” Her eyes are still shut when she says this but I know she can feel my emotions. “are you sure? Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?” “No, Damian. Please keep going. Please.” I don’t know why but this sort of angered me a little. She was going through all this pain to make me happy. I start thrusting and pumping even faster and harder. I slam my eyes shut and keep going. I can hear her making small noises as I thrust. It isn’t from pleasure but rather from pain. I go harder. It needs to be done. Just go. Just go Damian. I tell myself over and over again. I can feel it though. I’m going to finish soon. With one last thrust I move my hips toward her body so hard she lets out a small whimper. I finish and am still deep inside her. I hear her breathing heavily trying to keep the pain from escaping her mouth. I lay still and limp for a moment trying to catch my breath. I’m crying.

                What guy cries after sex? I felt as if I should be super embarrassed, but I wasn’t. the tears kept coming out. “I’m sorry Cali, I’m so so sorry I hurt you. I’m so-“ “shhh its okay Damian, I’m okay, see? Look, I’m perfectly fine.” Her voice was so soft, so enviting. I glanced up at her face. It was red and her eyes were a little glassy, but aside from that her cheeks were dry. “It did hurt. Really bad, I won’t lie. But Damian, I am so glad its you. That this happened with you. No matter what it would have hurt, but being with you made it so much more worth it, it made the pain go away.” Still crying I kiss her really hard. I finally catch my breath and say into her neck “I’m going to pull out now, its going to hurt even more.” She nodded and I slowly made my way out of her body. As I was doing that I felt her muscles tense up. I then quickly finish the job and roll of the condom. She’s sitting up against the pillows smiling at me. “Come here.” She says quietly. I do so and lean in close to her. She gets under the covers and I follow. Our faces are inches from each other and she’s smiling. She’s really really smiling. It’s not forced or anything. She takes her hand and starts lightly messing with my nose. I can’t help but to smile back. Its cute, and amazing, and perfect in every way. I grab her closer to me then I start kissing her wildly all over her face. Like a dog, with the sniffing included. I do it near her ears and she freaks out. That was another one of her major tickle spots. I start kissing her all over her face. From her forehead to nose to cheek, everywhere. She’s smiling and she is absolutely perfect right now. “stoppp” she mumbles through giggles, as she’s putting her hand to completely cover my face. I finally do and we just stare at each other laughing. She turns around so her back is towards me and inches her way closer to me, I wrap my arm around her bare shoulder and pull her in close. I was squeezing her so tight, but she was gripping onto my arm and squeezed back too. I kissed her cheek and then wandered into sleep.

Author's Note

this is inappropriate in parts! Feel free to correct any mistakes because I know their will be many... and please comment! I really want to know what you think of it? Its not all the way finished so please let me know if you have any suggestions for me!