The Fast We

The rush that I feel when we're together
Is like something that I never felt before
It was like love at first sight when we saw each other
That was only a sample but I kept wanting more....of you
See,there was touching and feelings with emotions and Trojans
Then the feel became mutual
So leaving you was impossible
It's like we weren't making love
But we weren't having sex either
It felt as if our spirits intertwined and we became destined to be
It's more than just a physical thing
It's spiritual

Reviews

[Astro]

A nice piece about that feeling we are sometimes lucky enough to have where we exist outside of ourselves in something greater than the individual but completely aware of that shining moment being shared. The falling in and out of rhymes and the meter of the lines that did rhyme could be cleaned up a bit but I still enjoyed your poem. My favorite line was this one, "See,there was touching and feelings with emotions and Trojans
Then the feel became mutual" Very uniquely described.

[Zebrah.]

Thank you man,and thank you for the advice, I need to work on my structure. And I'm glad that you enjoyed it!

[Astro]

You're welcome.

[suckmydick]

Really good