Giving up

My feelings are exploding,

My emotions, my sight, my breath

It's unloading.

My pulse is rushing, my face is paling,

My feet are running,

My voice is wailing.

A calling for help, a calling for need.

A scream, A gasp, whisper,

Slowly turns into a pleed.

The sweat is dripping, 

it's pouring, falling.

My grasp on the earth is slowly stalling.

I'm getting tired, I'm really worn out.

I'm giving up it seems, no doubt.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Very good flow of description. I could feel the world falling apart in the strong statements. Life is odd. When things go wrong. It seem like all things fall apart. I like the strong ending to the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Apatheia]

Thank you. :) Im glad you liked it.

[eatmills]

Sad but beautiful write. The flow and words have a downward feel to it.

[deepblue04]

I like how theres different feelings going one after the other

[Bumble]

Flow was well. Good job. n_n

[Pearlie]

Lovely pace, its catchy and I love the imagery! Amazing work

[tamsin]

Amazing, this poem felt like a battery dying, with all the energy at the begining, and then the power just running out...fantastic stuff!!!

[Alex]

Really emotonal well done :)

[Ees]

Cool poem.
As I was reading it, it put me to a place where I could really imagine and feel those things. I really have nothing else to say. That was an intense quick little poem. Good job!

[Belinda]

Its got a good flow, I can actually see you thinking these things in the middle of a crowded room however, like to you it feels like everything is falling apart, but you look around and its like nobody notices. I love it. Its great.

[Claire Twinn]

I like the way you express panic and despair in the short, explosive sentences here.