ON PROGRESS

Please help me by giving feedback on a new story I'm starting on! I'm currently working on the plot before I start doing my first draft, so give me plenty of criticism if you want!

This new story will be about a 17 years old boy who lives in a town that specializes in researching or talking about old legends from "past lives". He hates it and usually spends time focusing on his studies at school. He will meet a new mysterious and energetic girl, who's searching for the place that is based on a legend. She thinks that place is his town!

The legend is about a comet crashing into a town. The people who lived there suddenly lost his/her human heart, but no death casualties were announced after the incident. The incident has made the people turn into non-sentient beings, which they'll be called the Astrals. Because of that, they start to worship the stars and want them to grant their selfish wishes. So the stars will only grant these two choices that an Astral can choose from; 1) To never reciprocate love for another, but in exchange to keep the romantic feelings forever. 2) To remove all memories from the previous life, but in exchange possess another life forever.

SIDENOTE: The legend above will be used to help progress the story and enhance my characters' conflicts/problems with other characters and with oneself. I'm also trying to fix all the gaps of the legend so it can help clarify its meaning throughout the story. I'm trying to work out the reasons why the Astrals should choose the first "wish" of love since they are non-sentient with no actual human heart. I was thinking maybe placing something as a "fake heart" so they can feel a BIT of love, but not as much like a normal human would feel. Maybe along with a time limit or something to fall in love with someone...

Anyways, I'm also working on the characters' conflicts and how they'll affect the story AND the legend. Thank you for taking your time to read and give me feedback. Maybe some story inspirations also. ^_^

Author's Note

I've just recently thought of this story idea, but if you have any criticism or ideas to help my story make sense and imaginative, give me some feedback!!! (:

Reviews

[ms. barrie]

interesting plot, i like the uniqueness of this and enjoy your thought process.

i am not a huge sci fi fan but, it seems like it'd keep the reader engaged

i feel that the whole lack of reciprocal romantic feelings, yet still have lingering past romantic feelings upon lovers,etc can be a bit confusing & contradicting for the reader, (at least to me)

so i agree with your plan you mentioned in your added side note.

all in all, this sounds like it'd be a compelling story for the reader.
have fun and good luck in this story