MEDICINE TODAY: Confessions of a Field Medic...

See below...

I feel it

Really, I do

Putting doctors to shame

More experimental medicine, and

More medicine you need to know

So, you caught "a frag,"

A piece of metal, and

It landed in your belly, 

A fragment?

You think you are bleeding to death?

I guess with that fragment you will bleed to death

Here, take 2.5 morphine pills (music: like nobody else), or

You could also take 2.5 big methadones

And, I am listening as well

Word.  I have an answer for you:

Take propanolol to lower the blood pressure

It will work very soon

You have a choice, basically,

Do you want to just hope you live with that limp dick medicine,

Or, can I get my survival knife red hot to cauterize the wound and disinfect it?

I can do this in my house

It's that voom! (sign: YES)

Emergency medicine, anybody?

It works, and it hurts

I can also suggest the meloxicam and naproxen if you don't want to be "happy" with "happy drugs."

I guess this works, or I know?

You decide!