My Lovely Core

Just a lonely star about to meet its end

I am a star, a blue hypergiant. Even when I was human, I loved the color blue.

But right now, I stand millions of lightyears away from the first point of discovery, seen from the ends of faraway lenses, reflecting my neighbors’ outstanding beauty.

I am an unseen spectacle shrouded in the clouds of dust spewed by my fellow starry guides.

However, unlike the rest, I have miniscule eyes that allow me to see through the spectrum of day breaking colors and magnitude.

I’ve witnessed many stars come and go. Not just stars, but even the birth of galaxies and even galaxy-eaters. The pillars of life and killers of life, ironically existing in the same plane.

Galaxy eater. What we also call ‘god’s eraser’. An invisible force that could suck anything into oblivion.

I’m very old and we live very long lives. Once we combust into nothingness, our surroundings would be impacted as well. The lifespan of a star is ultimately short actually, like a train, pretty much straight forward and steamy.

I am a star and I have three planets revolving around me, and hundreds of moons to keep them company. Millions of asteroids near my belt.

1.      Planet Kuran

2.      Planet Millies

3.      Planet Blue

I am a star and I’m dying soon.

And not even the planets I wholeheartedly cherish will remember me.

But my thoughts are flowing ceaselessly, so let me tell you a story:

When I was human, I met a man whom I still remember clearly.

He was a star, fueled by ambition and righteousness.

A star that will outshine me.

And by ambition, he will burn with it.

As it is contagious, it will burn me.

Until he cannot pour, and I cannot accept.

Until nothing will remain - his love, gone.

And I liked that human, liked him for his burning ambition.

And I liked everything else, even things of which we cannot become.

He pursued greater heights, dreamt of the clean and cool wind.

Despite having a dream without me

I continued dreaming to be a part of it.

I think it is why I’ve become a star in my next life.

I was glorious as a human, and glorious had I become after death.

I still search for him, yearn for him, but I don’t think he’ll ever come around in this life.

Who would be attracted to a big ball of combustible gases and fire anyway?

He’s not one of the planets that surround me, not among the meteor fiends that spin around my belt notoriously, not in the galaxies within my radius.

Until the day I saw my galaxy eater as the last remnants of my consciousness spin, tearing up my flames from my round body inside a vortex of solitude, was when I truly found you. In silence. In agony. The wait was over.

You were my core all along, basking in my warmth - as I was basking in yours.