buried breath

buried breath

A Poem by ~Artemis~
"

I listened to a song, and wrote what came

"

I can’t breathe
my lungs pump in desperation
but no avail

I’m dying
Even as the fight inside me grows stronger
I know that I am done
Everything is finished

No
I fight harder
scraping against the coffin that encloses me
I shriek
my fear
will not let me accept defeat

 so I scream
even when my lungs have no air to fuel it
and I thrash
even when my arms have long since lost their strength
when hope has fled

still fighting
though the darkness
has forever stilled...

Me

© 2014 ~Artemis~


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Reviews

Wonderful! I was hooked from the first line and wasn't left disappointed! So full of heart and vivid!

-R.E. Imfeld

Posted 6 Years Ago


This is very good. What song was it?

Posted 7 Years Ago


My goodness this is so heartfelt, I can feel this write.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Determination stands out! As always... i love you positive tones even in the middle of despair. Keep thrashing those arms:) Good write

Posted 8 Years Ago


The pain in this person's perspective is so pure and obvious, it makes the reader want to read more. Not to mention, the poem is well written out. Good job.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Your wording portrayed the emotions so well. I felt anxious and desperate. A yearning. That is exactly why I enjoyed this piece so much. It moved me, as good work does/should. Good job. (: Keep writing!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Wow as the person below said, you really can feel the characters pain. On the second to last stanza, first line you accidentally put "I so I scream." Anyways, this poem is absolutely wonderful and you should keep on writing!

Posted 8 Years Ago


This is written so well you can feel the pain of the person.
Good job!

Posted 8 Years Ago



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392 Views
9 Reviews
Rating
Added on May 31, 2011
Last Updated on March 25, 2014
Tags: buried, fear, poetry

Author

~Artemis~
~Artemis~

About
I'm a young writer who loves to read fiction and has just opened he world up to writing her own. I love to give feedback and receive it. I'm a huge thespian, I love to dance, and I live for music. T.. more..

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