Fall

A Poem by Ashley

The colors start to blur,
like a painter changing scenes.
The leaves begin to fall
producing an unfamiliar melody.
The wind becomes irrational

scratching against my vulnerable, pale, flesh
producing thousands of goose bumps
that hastily advertise my weakness
to the universe.

I am here left open to the world,
as a cadaver is left open on the table;
insides involuntarily on display
like a museum,
my opinions constantly being molded
by this strangely influential place called home.
I no longer belong to myself;

my identity belongs to the world.

My mind transformed
to the world’s commands
in this time of my life
like the spring leaves
being forced to abandon
their happiness in turn for
the brown-red color of autumn.

I search
for meaning, affection,
and reasons to survive
while I lay on the table
my insides spread open,

my guts spilled out
all glory and pride
stripped from my being
you come to me,
helping,
writing on my chalk board mind
leaving marks of your existence
forming me into something better
eternally erasing the scratches
left by the world
after it squished my heart,
twisted my insides,
and left me to die.

Now the leaves rest
against the feathery grass
no longer hanging,
being beaten by the wind
never knowing
when their time would come;
now I rest
the world no longer
takes form of the wind
but the forgiving grass
reaching its long strands to catch me.

I like a leaf have fallen,
not off a tree
but for you,
my doctor,
my hero,
who saw me at my lowest
and molded me to my greatest.