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A Poem by Patsy

The first time you kiss me is in the spring.
I suppose it makes sense,
what with new beginnings and all that.
I bleed into you while the pigment of pressed flowers stains paper.
You break my universe apart while the ice thaws outside.
My bones shatter and flowers grow through the fractures,
I tear the most beautiful one from it's bed but the thought of losing it scares me.
It takes time but eventually I give it to you.

You tell me you love me not long after.
It's just rained and the air is clawing at my throat, wet and heavy.
I almost don't hear you over the church bells.
The way you whisper it in my ear is a siren song,
I never want it to stop, even if it hurts me.
Ivy creeps around my ribcage, leaving scores in my lungs and heart.
We spend the night on the stone steps, an old blanket of mine draped over our shoulders.
Your skin is warm and I get drunk on your rosewater perfume.
We rename the constellations,
You call one a series of numbers and when I ask you why, you tell me it's the day we met.

Sparks run through the air and it tastes of salt and copper.
The sound of your voice becomes engraved on my heart like the grooves on the vinyls we dance to in the wee hours of the night.
Neither of us want to admit it's too warm,
Our legs are tangled under the thin duvet as if we're trying to anchor ourselves together.
Neither of us want to let go.
Flies hum at the dust coated window and I ask why you won't let me clean your room.
You tell me you want to do it yourself.
That doesn't stop me from discreetly giving the place touch ups when I get home before you.

When the rain finally returns, the streets have turned bronze.
I joke about being old when the damp starts getting to me.
On one of the clearer days, we walk home together.
I close my eyes against the gusts of wind and when I open them, you're laughing at me.
I don't even have time to ask why before you're pulling twigs and dead leaves from my hair.
You tell me not to frown so much.
We get caught in the rain about halfway there,
You grab my hand and I can barely keep up as you drag me down the street.
The door slams shut behind us and water drips onto the worn wood.
My glasses are covered in rain and everything is blurry.
We stand there for what seems like forever, winded before we trudge our way up the stairs.
We try to walk quietly but there's water in our shoes and we can't stop laughing.
I almost follow you to your room but you tell me to go dry off before I catch a cold.

Fog turns to frost and frost turns to ice,
I comb through shop after shop, worried about getting you a bad gift.
You come home at night wearing the scarf I've been looking for all week.
You sneak up behind me the next day,
shoving a handful of snow down my back.
I get you back by smearing a clump of snow in your face when you lean in to kiss me.
It becomes almost impossible to distinguish one day from the next.
The letterbox won't shut up for the flood of Christmas cards,
and the whole house smells of cranberries.
You crack a joke about being my present,
I sneak a sprig of mistletoe into my pocket and hang it over your head when no one's looking.

Our first New Year's Eve is spent hidden away in your room,
The once bare dresser is overflowing with framed pictures.
You tell me you're scared of them fading.
All I can say is that we'll just take more,
I don't want to think that we may never get the chance.
Fireworks erupt outside the window, dying in mid-air
You hold me close when I flinch, running your hands through my hair.
Our resolutions lists are tucked into the mirror frame,
most of mine are crossed out.
I wonder if I could ever find the strength to see those ones through.
You fall asleep in my arms, despite telling me you'd stay awake for the bells.
The thought of sleep terrifies me, I can't stop thinking I'll wake up to find you gone.
I don't remember if I ever slept that night.

© 2017 Patsy

Author's Note

I haven't written anything in five months I know this sucks but I had to start somewhere. Also this is in no way finished, it may be days or weeks from now but I'll probably edit this, I just really needed to have it somewhere other than rotting away in my drafts. This also isn't structured very well but I really don't have the spoons to open that can of worms.

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Reviews

Tbear

OH MY WORD! I so enjoyed this piece..wishing I could have lived these moments myself!!! VERY VERY nice write and so looking forward to more from you...write on...
'Clouds give way to the last of the rain,
Akin to soft silk, it hides the bite of winter's dying breaths.' really love your imagery throughout