My Umbrella: a bittersweet memory

I was on my way home, when I felt a drop of water in my head. Then I realized it was drizzling. I can feel every drop of the rain slowly soaking me into wetness. It was cold… very cold that it made me shivered. I remember I had an umbrella. I quickly open my bag pack and get my umbrella. I was struggling in opening it because my umbrella is defective. Oh not this time L I’m starting to feel cold. I was hoping it would open because I’m already drenched in the rain…. until it open. Thank God! . My umbrella is a folding umbrella. Its color is indigo with a matching design of horizontal and vertical line all over it. While walking, I realized that this umbrella had a “bitter-sweet” memory. A memory ,that will never happen again, with the same person and with the exact feeling and moment. Are you intrigued with the story? Here it goes.

A mundane day on school, like the usual routine of a typical school girl, I go to school, sit down, listen to the professor, take down notes, talk to my seatmate, class dismissed. Then, go to another room for the next class and same routine as always. But, on July 8, 2013, someone changed it, that ordinary day became extraordinary.

Me and my co-league namely EJ and CJ are walking at the hallway of the library, when we came across a person who caught our attention. The man was standing 5’8 tall, a lanky man with a fair skin complexion. He was wearing a white polo with blue vertical stripes on it. It was paired with jeans and black leather shoes. He has an angular face and that time he was wearing a sunglasses and his face has a very dark and thick mustache and beard. He had a dark semi-curly hair. I think he’s in middle twenties. Then, suddenly, EJ said “Oh my God! I think I knew that guy. He’s a lawyer and a very brilliant one”

“Really? Are you sure? Maybe you’re just mistaken.” I insisted

“No! I knew him because he’s my CRUSH and from afar I knew it was him

I and CJ laughed

CJ commented, “why do lawyers are so hot?” and she grinned.

“yeah! And he’s handsome…. Right?” EJ said.

“ahmmmm…. Yeah?! But I don’t like his bread and mustache. I don’t like guys with mustache and beard, it looked untidy to me” I replied.

“EJ, if ever it was really your crush, how come old is he? And how come you knew him?” CJ asked.

“ I think his in middle twenties and I saw him in a debate on ANC and I find him cute and smart… so, I searched him and add him on my FB” He answered with a big smile in his face.

“ you mean…. Your friends in FB?” I asked.

“YES! If you want, try to check him in the fb to clarify if it was really him or I can send you the link to his 

FB” he suggested.

Then me and CJ agreed.

The day end and just like a bubble, the whole face and figure of that guy was forgotten. He never made a mark on my memory because I got easily discourage d by his bread and mustache.

At night, when I got home, I opened my FB account and I had a message and 9 notifications. I open the message and it was from EJ. It was a link and little message saying

Check it out! And he’s wearing the same polo

I clicked it and I saw a man with a polo holding a guitar. I was not contented by his PP because his face is looking in the guitar and not in the camera. I scanned his PP and saw a clearer view of the guy. I thought to myself, He’s CuteJ. But, I think this guy was not the guy we met awhile ago. He got no beard and no mustache and he got a very lovely smile. I stared his picture and captivated by his smile. This one was really cute; I prefer this one than the guy awhile ago. Even if it’s not the guy earlier I think I LIKE HIM (blush) J. Then I quickly click the button

ADD AS A FRIEND

After sending the request , I replied to EJ

Hey! It looks like this guy is not the person earlier.

He look clean, decent and CUTE

Then a minute later, CJ also send a message

Yeah! They look different

EJ replied

Ok! Sorry but I think there’s  a resemblance…

or maybe it was just a mistake

I replied

I don’t see the resemblance ……. Maybe it was just a mistake…. But I find him

Cute than the guy awhile ago… I like him than the other guy

EJ replied

                Yeah! Maybe… right he’s cute J

Then, I signed out.

When morning came, I got up and do my usual routine. When all the things are done, I open my FB account and got some notifications. It’s from him, the guy I added last night and he wrote on my wall

Hello Sam! Thanks for the add

SAM?? He called me Sam?!. It feels like were close buddies. It’s kinda weird that when a cute guy called me by my nickname, even though were not acquainted to each other. Yeah! Its written in my account that may nickname is SAM,but only my close friends call me in such. Whatever!  He’s still cute and he called me Sam. (blush)

I never thought that he will immediately accepted my request because for some reason

1.       1. We don’t know each other

2.       2. Maybe he’s busy

3.       3. He don’t like to accept request from unknown friend request

4.       4.  He don’t like request from UGLY people..(hahaha)

I was so thrilled that I immediately texted E J, CJ and my other friends about it, I also status it on FB. Gem, who’s a close friend of mine send me a message and asked me to spill it out. So, I told her everything and she said, “ Sam.. your Destiny!!!”

I laughed and I know she only say it because she just support what I like. Then I replied,

“Nah! It can never be happened, besides he’s too handsome and smart for me. He’s just like the star, hard to reach. ”

“whatever! I still believe your Destiny”

D-E-S-T-I-N-Y. It’s kinda weird but I like what Gem said. Yeah! Maybe…. Just a little maybe there’s a reason why we meet. I don’t know! He maybe just a passerby in my life but whatever role he has on my life, I like it. I like this feeling, I never felt it before.  It was my first time to saw a person just on FB and just a snap; I can’t get him out of my mind.just like in the song of Taylor Swift  All I know is a simple name but everything has changed 

I check his FB to find some infos from him. I got a sneak peek to his photos, when all of a sudden a picture caught my attention. The picture was tagged by his friends. It was taken from a bar, and there were 3 guys in the photo and what caught my attention is the guy from the right. OMG! He looks like the guy on the school yesterday. But maybe not. I thought maybe they’re just friends or the guy is his brother or or …or I can’t think of reasons anymore. S**t! I hope he’s not that guy . I quickly  copy the link and send it to EJ and CJ with a message

Look I think this guy and the guy in the school are the same

EJ replied

I told you! I knew it was him

CJ also commented

They have the resemblance, maybe

Because of the beard but I still don’t agree that they

Are the same

I felt discourage again. I hope they’re not the same, not that I started to like and fantasize the cute guy on the FB. But if ever his the guy in the school then maybe I might like him because there’s no choice.. They are one

On July 10, 2:34pm, Me and Gem we’re about to go to the library. I was busy `reading the bulletin board when suddenly, Gem shouted and excited and called me

“SAM…. SAM… he looks familiar”

“Who?”

“The guy in black, he looks like the one you told me yesterday”

“Really?”

I quickly chase the guy and saw him, he was going in the library and about to sign the log book. When he was finished writing at the log book. I quickly run and see the name……………… YES! It was CONFIRMED ,the guy on the FB and the guy the other day was…. The same.

I felt a variety of emotions at that time. I was satisfied to know they are the same, disappointed because they are the same.  Happy to see that the cute guy on FB in personal but I don’t like his current look, but again WHATEVER, he’s still cute.

We follow him inside the library and we find a spot near him. We sat in the table next to him and we can only see his sexy back. Once in a while, he steals glances to us.

Oh s**t!  I think he knew me or I’m just imagining that he’s glancing in our side

The girl in front of him is starring at the guy like he wants to eat him. I really want to shout at her

"Hey b***h! Stop starring at him, his mine and he just accepted my friend request and call me sam.. so back off"

But I don’t have the right to do that because I knew

1.He don’t like me

2.We are in the library.. I can’t shout at her (silence please)

3.We’re not couple I don’t have the right to do that

Then, I heard the ringing of the bell. OMG! I almost forgot we still have class. At that moment, I really don’t want to leave, I want to savor the moment but I need to my class.

While  we are in our class, I felt like flying on cloud nine. I was so high and all the professor saying didn’t absorb by my brain. All I think was HIM. (Sigh)

 That afternoon, we've got an early dismissal, so I told CJ and EJ that we go to library and check if he’s still there. When we went there, he was still there, but EJ suggested that we just wait for him at the lobby of that library so that it won’t be pretty obvious that we are stalking at him.  A couple of minutes, EJ says that we should go home now because it was getting dark and the sky was gloomy and he thought it will rain and he doesn't have an umbrella. I suggested that he just go ahead because I got an umbrella, no matter what happens I will still wait for him, and then CJ agreed with me. EJ went home and we are still at the lobby waiting for him. That night was really gloomy and sullen, the wind starts to caress my skin that it made us frigid, and the heavy rain starts to pour. A minute later, he went out and like a dashing flash we followed him like an obsessed stalker. We went down the hall when suddenly my view became dark. OMG! Black out. The students are screaming and running and my phone rung, it was Gem.

“Sam? Where are you? Are you still in school? I’m scared. Let’s go home, I've got an umbrella”

“Me and CJ are in the SM hall. Come here and I have something to tell you, were stalking at him” and I laughed

“Sam! You’re so obnoxious. Okay wait for me , I’m on my way”

Then, just in a minute, Gem arrived and she quickly asked me.

“Where is he?”

I answered her with a whispery voice. “He’s in our back and I think he’s worried because he don’t have an umbrella”

“Or maybe he is waiting for someone. Look! He’s dialing someone on his phone” CJ said

“He looked so pity . Sam, do you have an umbrella? We should offer him one of our umbrella” Gem suggested.

“Gem, maybe he got a car but just can’t go to his car because it’s raining” EJ  said

“That’s it! That’s why we offer him one of our umbrella or one could share with him and that should be Sam” Gem teased me.

“Gem! No… no way.. let’s just go home and leave him”

“Sam, aren’t you pitied or worried for him?

And I looked at his face

“Yeah! But he’s old enough, he can handle himself”

“but it’s better if you offer him an umbrella, if he declines then we go home”

I still saw him fiddling with his phone. He looked worried.

Gem grab the umbrella and pushed me. “Go Sam! You can do it”

“what?! No… No way.. let’s go home

”

“Sam just say it, Excuse me sir do you have an umbrella if you want I can share it with you, if he don’t accept it then it’s done.”   She said it with matching giggle.

“No Gem! It’s getting dark, my father would be searching for me now.”

“Sam just try it”

I grab the umbrella and went near him, but I got nervous and ran back to their side.

“Gem, let’s go home please” I pled

The rain became heavier with a matching thunder and lighting. I really do hate thunder and lighting. All  I want to do that time was go to go home, but half of my heart and mind was telling me, DO IT SAM! Its gonna be a now or never, you will regret it. I told myself, yeah! It is a once in a lifetime moment and maybe I will never feel this feeling again. I don’t want to waste it.

I take a deep breath, grab the umbrella and went toward the guy. Then gem asked

“Sam, are you sure? Let’s just go home if you want”

What?! Are they fickle minded? The time I got the courage to do it and now they are stopping me?

I told them ”I don’t understand you, awhile ago you’re pushing me but now you’re stopping me. This is what you like me to do, right? So, I’m doing it so we can go home, it’s getting dark”

I look at the guy, he is still texting someone on his phone. I take another breath hold the umbrella tightly and went toward him.

“E.. Ex… Excuse me attorney, do you have an umbrella? If you want you can take my umbrella”

He smiled, WOW! It’s my first time to see him smile. Then he talked with a masculine voice.

“Oh! It’s okay, thank you. I’m waiting for a friend” then he went back fiddling with his phone.

It feels like I’ve been soaked with water that is full with ice. I felt numbed and don’t know what to do. He declined my offer. It was my first time to do such thing and I got a rejection. It felt stupid and dumb. I can’t understand what I felt that day, the only thing that stuck in my mind is REJECTION. It was really heartbreaking because I felt my effort was wasted and I ashamed I did it.

“Thank you sir” that’s all I could say to him.

Then, I ran and ran never mind if I got soaked. I just want to run at that moment and escape. I don’t want to see that beautiful face again. Damnit! I really looked dumb at that moment. I was really out of mu mind when I heard a voice.

“SAM! Wait” a voice from Gem.

“Let’s go home” I said it nonchalantly. “Gem, I felt I was rejected”

“No Sam! No, I think it was good. It’s just that moment he didn’t need an umbrella. We’ve done our part he just don’t need the umbrella”

“Yeah Sam! And I find it cute” CJ said it with a giggle.

“No I don’t find it cute”

“sam, it was a memorable event of your life”

“yeah! An EPIC memory. I want to go home.  Let’s go home”

I went home, walking like a zombie, absent minded. Arrggh!! Why can’t we delete some bad memories? That scene was always running in my mind. I can’t hardly sleep because of that scenario. That time, I told myself, I won’t do it again and I hate rain because of that rain it shouldn’t happen. I really want to curse the rain, I want to delete his face, the minuscule memory of him and I prayed that by tomorrow I’ll overcome it and never see his face again or if ever he would go to the school we won’t cross out ways.

All my payers was heard and from then on, I never seen that face again and time goes by I started to accept it and just laugh about it. I moved on from that epic fail memory and I didn’t regret it happened because it  made me some lessons in life.