Strings

When you dance, your a lone body.
Rubbing off other bodies.

My eyes are closed and I imagine time is still.
The talking switched off for a moment.
The only words are the lyrics,
Telling us to forget, get drunk, or temporarily fall in love.
A song I am fully connected with..
Speaking to me, "forget..forget...
-It's ok."
But it's not ok. I wouldn't be here if it was.

We create an ocean of lost souls.
Dancing in waves.
All wanting to join but we crash against each other instead.
For a moment,
Some of us allow our lips to lock,
But we are dragged away to drown again.
Our bodies possessed and we let them..
Anything is better than real life,
I'd rather play along to this pretend.

I'm being held up by strings, we are all on auto.
Falling into whoevers arms are open..
Drinking whatever's poured.
I am hopeless,

Just like the rest of these thrown out souls,
Well..we have to go somewhere...

Reviews

[The Twin Arenas]

made me think of the titanic.

lovely, woozy, lonesome stuff.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

like marionettes, on strings, but maybe we allow ourselves to be manipulated by life instead of pulling our own strings and making decisions that don't go along with what is expected of us.

we do what we are told...but happiness is not found that way...

hopefully we can shed the puppet persona...and carve our own path.
be accepted first by ourselves.

nicely done...
just one suggestion...in first line i read it as "you're a lone body"---
j.

[ayejodie]

You're Is correct! Sorry I always right it so quick I never spellcheck! We all have that moment where we feel life is dragging us along rather than us having control! Thank you for the feedback

[Relic]

Wow! There's a lot of feeling in this and I can see a bit of myself in it for sure. Great poem with a great ending.

If I were to ask, what would you consider the theme of this to be?

[ayejodie]

Thank you for your review, I really appreciate the feedback! I think throughout most of my poems the theme would be more or less hopelessness :)

[Relic]

I absolutely agree. As I mentioned, I see a bit of me in this. I can definitely say I've had that feeling in similar situation.

This site is no longer as review friendly as it once was and that's a shame. 3 or 4 years ago this poem would have been loaded with them, this poem is that good and deserving of more. What a shame the site has changed so much. Hence, my occasional visits now.

Keep writing.