Lost within yourself

You wake up from your grave,

now you think you are very brave,

your eyes open to the sound of light

after you lost that cruel fight.

 

your heart begins to race,

once you discover this empty space,

you observe this abandoned home,

but you notice you are not alone.

 

all these lost souls crying,

their bodies rapidly dying,

their hearts slowly bleeding,

and their eyes loudly screaming

 

you ask yourself if you are like them,

someone so lifeless and condemned

your body begins to lose its breath,

as you enter the world of death.

 

Your spirit roams around those you love,

she looks into the mirror and sees you image,

she screams without any hope,

for she thinks she's insane and hallucinating.

 

Why do you still follow her?

you will only lead her to your broken soul,

to this world so empty and unknown

by those who dont know about those that lost

the difficult battle of life

 

Your presence only darkens her

its too late to change the past and present,

only she will resent

that you didnt do anything to change

what couldve of been..

You are only lost within yourself

 

 

 

Author's Note

please tell me your honest opinion... if there is anything to improve this poem... thanks. =)

Reviews

[Poeticpiers]

Again the lack of meter and a regular rhyme pattern lets you down inpresenting your thoughts

[Ben]

This is a good, emotional piece, Ruth. Just one thing. you might want to have the first letter or each new line to be capitalized, because you have periods. Just a thought. Good work!