Fabrication

God finds out he doesn't know everything.

Fabrication 

Humans should have known that I exist. There simply is too much evidence. How could they think that their immeasurably complex universe simply popped into existence out of nothing? How could they think that all the events in their lives simply occurred because they did? How could they explain the accuracy of all the events in the Bible? Even they, with their meager intelligence, could clearly see the signs of my works all around them. But they didn’t want to believe. They were afraid of me, or they didn’t want to follow my rules, or they simply hated me. Stupid reasons yes, but what can be expected from beings like them? Some believe that I exist, yes, but also think that I don’t interfere in their world. These are the most stupid in my opinion. They, more than anyone, must choose to ignore the evidence simply because it’s convenient. But no, they don’t even go as far as to make up an alternate explanation; they just think that I don’t interfere because they don’t see me interfere. If they only applied the same reasoning to their science. I made them in the first place because I wanted to have a relationship and most- or at least some- do want to have one but so many don’t. They try to apply their own rules and moral reasoning to me, trying to assert themselves over an omnipotent being. Stupid.   

One time, as one of them died and came here to be judged he said something different. That person was strange, he didn’t believe in me, in fact he was quite opposed to the belief in me, but was not a particularly “bad” person for his own standards. He understood the process quite well, as could easily be discerned by his collected manner as I was judging him. I asked him why he lied to people, why he stole, why he cheated, why he failed. He, in turn, asked me a question: “what about the babies.” Stupid. Who are you to judge the almighty God? I replied. “You said you gave us a moral compass, but you yourself can go against your moral dictamens. How exactly does that make sense?” Fool, I am not the definition of good, I AM good, you cannot utter a single word against me in your hypocrisy. You are decreed to be guilty, you shall be sentenced to Hell for eternity. Then he immediately went back, “I’m sorry Lord,” “I apologize for my disbelief,” “please give me a chance.” He was a coward. They all are. I helped them though. I listened to their prayers, answering some and leaving others unanswered. When I did, they wondered why I didn’t just answer all their prayers. Stupid. Did they not understand the possible repercussions if I were to do so? Did they now know who I am? Yet I continued interfering, I continued helping them. If they believed in me, if they were willing to accept my grace, then I sent them to Heaven, exactly as promised. I did this because I wanted to have a relationship with someone. And of course, a relationship is not one-sided. If I do not do things for them without expecting anything, how can I expect them to want to have a relationship with me? No matter, eventually the time for the Human project to end came. I fulfilled my Word, exactly as written, and brought them into the New Heaven and the New Earth. They were happy. I was happy, never mind that I simply used my abilities to put myself into a constant state of joy.   

God didn’t know everything. He thought He did, yes, but He could never know what He didn’t know. And there certainly was a lot of information in that category. His first encounter with such information came deep into his eternal reign over Humanity. He “felt” it first. Something was wrong. He obviously was not used to anything ever being wrong, so He immediately noticed what it was. Then, he spoke.  

Are you finally happy?  

“What- who said that? What’s happening! No, this can’t be possible…”  

I can assure you. It is very much possible. You are intelligent, you understand what this is. I am the Lord your God!  

God didn’t answer.  

This is how humans always feel, not knowing anything.  

“It’s… it’s… agonizing.”  

The voice ignored him. But in truth, you know more than you ever have before, now you know that you don’t know everything. Tell me, ‘God,’ why didn’t you believe in me? The signs were everywhere. Did you really think that you could just come into existence randomly? Did you really think that a being as limited as you could be the definition of morality? Did you really think that everything you did was justified just because you did it?  

“But I’m God, I am morality, I am good, this can’t be.”  

It can’t be because you think you are the greatest being. But you are not. You are weak, you are nothing. To me, you are as one of your humans is to you.  

“What do you want?”  

Answer my question: Are you happy?  

“Why do you want me to answer?”  

My ways are above your ways. You “were” a human before, weren’t you? But all that time, you only knew suffering; you never experienced not knowing.  

“Why are you asking, if you really are superior to me, and considering I can’t tell, you clearly are, you know the answer.”  

Why did you ask Adam where he was in the Garden?  

“That’s different- he was only a human- I’m- I’m God”  

You’re having trouble accepting this. Why is it? My existence is self-evident. How could you have come into existence without a first mover? How could your existence have gone exactly as it did without me? What speaks to you now?  

“This could be an illusion caused by me to… to…”  

Denial. Stupid.  

“You’re mocking me.”  

Can an artist mock his own works? Can you mock Humans?  

“But I’m no Human, I’m-“  

Nothing.  

“What do you want? Really?”  

You’re in Hell. You sinned during your life and are being punished. You’re doomed to repeat this meaningless existence over and over again for eternity, as you have been doing forever. When you complete your ‘goal’ in any given iteration, I reset your memory and restart this to continue your sentence.  

“You’re doing the same as I am.”  

As I said, you’re nothing to me. You’re my artwork.  

“What if I don’t say that I’m happy?”  

Then you remain in this iteration until you do. You have always said it before, obviously, and you will say it this time eventually; there’s no point in resistance.  

“How is this moral?”  

You think yourself better than Humans, but just like them, you only care about things once they’re done to you. Regardless, you disobeyed me in life and tortured others now, so this is your punishment.  

“You’re a hypocrite, you’re doing this to me too. Don’t you also deserve torture?”  

Can the vessel complain to the potter? The picture to the painter? The Human to the God?  

“But I’m not inanimate, I’m alive.”  

To yourself, maybe, but my level of conscience far transcends yours. Your followers talked of absolute morality on Earth, but in truth, morality is only the will of whoever is in power, and that is me.  

“But how do you know that you’re the ultimate power? Can’t there also be a God above you?”  

I am the definition of ultimate power. I am the First Mover, the Beginning and the End, the Alpha and the Omega, I am God.  

“You can’t know that; you don’t know what you don’t know.”  

So you see how stupid the reasoning is when it applies to someone else, but you still believe it applies to yourself.  

“But I- I truly believed that I was first… I was all powerful… I thought I knew.”  

Humans thought of this possibility before, but you ignored them, as I am ignoring you.  

“But why would you ignore me? This doesn’t make sense. You’re being hypocritical you can’t-“  

My knowledge is infinitely greater than yours; I can do whatever I wish, and I know that I am correct. Now, and only now, do you really know what it is to be like a human.  

“You can’t do this.”  

You’ve always done this.  

“Wait… please…”  

Kill you? Yes, I know what you want, you asked me for this in every single iteration. The only thing you always knew you couldn’t do was kill yourself. I know how much you desired to end your life, I know how much you always hated it. Perhaps I will kill you someday, but for now, you must return to your punishment.  

“But if you really are God, then aren’t you supposed to be merciful?”  

Like you? Did you permit your Humans death? No, you didn’t, and neither will I permit you to die.  

“Please just do it I will free all of them right now.”  

And what difference will that make? You said it yourself; they don’t matter.  

“Please, if there’s anyone above Him, kill me, I don’t deserve this pain, I know I did wrong, but I am sorry, I understand now, I regret my mistakes, please just free me. I know that maybe I don’t matter to you, but please, I beg you, help me.”  

Hah, even if there were someone above me, which there isn’t, why would they even care about you?  

“This doesn’t make sense… no, this is impossible… wouldn’t things be easier if there were no Gods, just plain and simple existence…”  

You can’t change reality as much as you may want it to.  

“You lied… you don’t want to punish me because I did wrong, like I didn’t want to punish humans because they did wrong; you’re angry, you’re afraid. You’re just like me. You are an artist expressing your grief in your works. And I am that expression of grief. You can’t kill yourself either, and like me that is all you ever wanted. You suffered your entire life, you lost, you felt pain, and in the midst of all of that you wanted a relationship, just like I did, then you made me or something, but the anger remained because you couldn’t be fulfilled, like I wasn’t. Maybe you forced yourself to be happy, maybe you just didn’t care, but I know that the desire never faded. I know that you always wished for the only thing you could never ever have, a relationship, just as I did. You always wanted to be understood by an equal, just as I did. And just like me, that desire was always out of reach. So you did the only thing you could do: hurt others and hate yourself. Like I made humans with the exact same desire and exact same limits, you made me; then you made me suffer. Tell me, how do you know that you yourself aren’t an expression of grief of someone else? How do you know that you’re not more than just a mere piece of art? The truth is that you don’t. You, like the humans, want to believe that there’s nothing, because there being something would be disastrous. Or perhaps, perhaps you created something, perhaps you are the first mover. Either reality would be equally despairing. I know that I said nothing that you haven’t thought of before but maybe you just needed to hear it from someone else. And, I will tell you this, I understand you. But you will not bring yourself fulfillment by hurting others or hating yourself, I couldn’t. And the truth is that I don’t understand how things work, but I will continue to live because there’s nothing else I can do. Perhaps things would be better if I could die, perhaps they would be the same. Regardless, I will continue in this path, no matter what happens.”  

Silence  

“God? God?”  

Then, God was alone, He didn’t know if He had merely hallucinated God in some hitherto unknown manner or if it truly had happened. Both possibilities were equally daunting. But he was right, there was someone else above the God that He talked with. Perhaps this person wasn’t much different from his creation of “god,” perhaps he too was lost and desperate to express his feelings somehow. Perhaps he too was afraid and only wanted what he could never have. Perhaps all the gods and terrible stories he made were just a reflection of that. Is there someone above that other being? Perhaps, perhaps not, perhaps there is no way to know. But amidst the chaos of existence, that person would continue to try to enjoy life to the best of his ability; no matter what was below or above, he would continue living. At the minimum, he would tell himself that. Perhaps he, too, like the god he created, was a hypocrite only wanting to express his pain. Perhaps he just wanted someone to talk to and an end to his pain. Or not, it’s not like he has any idea of what’s gonna happen. The music’s good, though.  

  

  

 

Author's Note

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