our last night

i write so that i never forget

i remember our last night together. 

we were at krispy kreme and you looked down at your donut and said "this is the second most beautiful thing i've ever seen in my life" and when i asked what the first was you looked back up at me without saying anything as if i had just asked the question with the most obvious answer in the world.

we were on your roof drinking wine and talking about all of the things we never got the chance to do together. all of the things we still wanted to.

we were downtown dancing to our favorite song in front of the capital building. i climbed the wall but didn't feel the same butterflies i felt when i had done it on your birthday the year before.

we were at Benny's Pizza and i read aloud the list of your funniest quotes i had been keeping throughout our relationship. i couldn't get through it without breaking down.

we were back in your apartment and you handed me a bag full of my clothes and started to cry. i had been crying the entire time.

we were in your car in my parking garage telling each other that we loved each other for the last time. we both said it was for the best. i don't know if either of us believed it.