Sea Lullaby

Thank you reviewers

Fall asleep on the shore

As the sand gives you a warm embrace

Be silent, be still, and listen to the sea.

It's singing us a lullaby

I knelt down by you, and took your hand;

The sea took us to a different place,

By singing gently a sweet lullaby.

Slowly your hand grew cold in mine,

Mine offered no warmth, it was cold long ago

I gently laid down, I held you close to me,

I closed my eyes, and fell asleep,

As the waves kept the lullaby beat.

As slowly we rose to our knees,

We held hands and walked silent,

We wanted to hear the gentle sea's lullaby

We held each other closely, one final kiss.

We turned, and looked at each other,

Cuddled up in the cradling sand.

Slowly we turned and walked,

To the gentle beat of the sea's lullaby

Reviews

[E]

i adore this poem. the natural, flowing syntax of it offers such a relaxed and calm tone, that you just feel yourself melt into the poem.

"...Be silent, be still, listen to the sea.
It's singing us a lullaby..."

those 2 lines... ahhh...

i've got the sea in my blood, the waves are to my heartbeat. reading this was so mellow and soothing, i loved it.
wonderful job :)

[Doug]

I really enjoyed reading this poem. One little thing I'd consider tweaking on would be the over usage of "lullaby". It's great at the end though. Don't lose that one. But maybe find a new way to say the same thing with some of the other ones. Other than that, its good.

[Katie Lynn]

Its actually dying with someone. like, an old married couple.

[Mark]

You've combined the nature that is the ocean with closeness to someone else. It said plenty to me. Nice write.