the news

it's never easy to learn about the news of a deceased one. this poem goes through the emotions of those first moments of loss.

i never know what comes first;

 

 

the feeling of my stomach:

tips of toes dangling over cliff,

 

until the free fall

into the type of fire that molds knots into intestines,

 

singing flesh from inside to out.

 

or the breaking of my heart:

blood frosting over like winter,

 

solidifying pulse,

before slivers of denial run raged cracks through chest,

 

shattering before me on chilled tile.

 

 

the world lay still for but a moment:

time peeling away, nothing moves.

 

mouth gaping for oxygen, for life, for reason,

but nothing comes to mind other than “no”.

 

reality comes crashing back.

 

 

storm of sick and twisted tornado:

out to devour all that is life,

 

all that is truth,

all that is

 

you.

 

 

heart takes its first jagged beat:

in desolate world

 

without understanding,

that you are not here.

 

that you are gone.

 

 

head buzzes like firecracker:

stumbling on ‘why’.

 

everything spins so fast.

where is the hope for inaccurate communication?

 

this can’t be real.

 

 

i must blink twice, pinch hard,

find dead skin on lip and peel:

 

blood pools on tongue and swallow.

it is real. you are real. i am shattered.

 

and now you’re gone.

 

forever.

Author's Note

give me feedback for how to make this better! would love any and all feedback!