Slipping

Oh, no, what has happened?

It seems like forever ago that I was doing great,

Though it was only four days ago.

I came home Friday night,

And I did something that I haven't done in seven years:

I cried, and for no apparent reason.

Now I feel like I'm slipping,

Back into my old ways.

Slipping, loosing my head and my rock.

I had found something worth living and striving for,

I had found my rock, the one thing holding me anywhere close to sanity.

If I loose my rock, I loose what sanity I have ever had.

What made me cry?

What did I do to deserve to endure

This pain that resides deep inside my heart?

The pain has been eating me slowly,

Though I fought to heal it.

I had finally cured it,

At least I thought I did.

I know where I belong,

I belong in his arms,

But I doubt that will happen.

I'm just not pretty enough,

He is just "too old" for me.

Well, that doesn't matter to me.

I love him, and two and a half years

Isn't a very big difference.

I might still be able to save myself,

I might be able to win.

I just need reassurance,

To know that I have a chance.

I want to stop slipping,

I want to be winning his heart.

But what about that part

Of me that always messes up?

What will I do

If I screw up again?

I can get through this if I try real hard.

I need to be successful

At winning Jeremy's heart.

If I fail, I know it will tear me apart.

So I will accomplish my quest.

I will stop failing, no matter the cost.

I WILL STOP SLIPPING!

Reviews

[Louise Winter]

This is amazing :)
So emotional and well put together :)
Keep it up!