Stupid Answers

I just wanted to be gloomy for a change.

Please don’t give me stupid answers,

I’m not your broom to sweep the floor

Not someone you can beat on

When you can’t take your life anymore.

Please don’t give me stupid answers

To the questions I have asked;

My intelligence may be wanting

But my will is fading fast.

You play at life like it’s a game

And I was something in your way

I'm beaten down, well, you’ve won now

Now I'll slowly fade away.

Please don’t give me stupid answers

When I wonder what I did wrong

To earn this life, this pain, this hate -

To sing this one-road song.

Still you give me stupid answers

You’ve been doing it for years

So I’ll smile outside, wishing I could die

Then I’ll go home and let out the tears.

 

I thought the pain would disappear

But like poison hatred goads;

There's no turning back for me tonight

The show is done, the curtain closed.

I’ll wait till dark when all will sleep,

And whisper last farewells.

And close my eyes and lay back down

And quietly expel.

There’ll be no more stupid answers

To the riddles that you’ve caused;

But there might be some blood-warm tears

Shed for life that I have lost.

And I hope you’ll think of what might change -

I hope you’ll start to see -

That stupid answers, stupid lies...

It's what ended life for me

Author's Note

A very rough, rough draft. Is there anything I can fix on it?

Reviews

[Mir]

This was sooo good! I really enjoyed the last two lines of the 5th stanza. And the last stanza! I loved how powerful and, almost, blunt the last stanza is! Fantastic job!:D

[Becca Bishop]

Thank you! Let's see...the last two lines of the fifth stanza...hmmm...it's like a scavenger hunt....FOUND IT!!! Oh, thanks!!! I like those too :P Not sure what I was thinking about when I wrote about singing but...eh. It kind've worked. I've never been called blunt before!!! THANKS!!!! THANKS THANKS THANKS THANKS!!!!

[Mir]

hahaha you're a very enthused person! :) It's strangely enjoyable haha. And you're welcome!

[Sid]

Interesting thought Becca, it kind of lost the rhythm towards the end but it's a well written poem. You have conveyed your thoughts well though you might consider polishing it a bit more...anyways good write!!

[Becca Bishop]

Yeah...I should do that. Thanks for the review :D :D

[C.E.Grey]

I love it. Yeah it probably could use improvement (but so can anyone's writing). Beautiful feel :)

[Becca Bishop]

Yup :P It needs a bunch of improvement, but at least I'm not alone in that. Thanks for the review :D :D :D

[marie]

the rhythm is a bit off towards the end, great idea and great start for a first go :)

[Becca Bishop]

Thank you!!! :) :) :)

[Ellen Incognito]

I like it.

[Becca Bishop]

Thanks!!!! :D :D :D Nice to meet someone new!!! Thank you for reading and reviewing :D :D :D :D

[PP]

Becca, it's perfect!! So true is your concept. Sometimes one knows that the other peron is blatantly dishing out a lot of lies, but we believe their stories not because they sound real but we've conditioned our minds to not to see beyond what they say. Brilliant piece!

[Becca Bishop]

Thank you!!! I think you're absolutely right - one of our biggest faults is the fact that we're so trusting. Thanks for reading :D :D :D