Counterfeit

Thoughts…..

Counterfeit

It started yesterday

I miss you already

I see future’s hold

Written all over you

It started yesterday

As I sat looking at the world

Through a child’s eyes

And the way you look tonight

Is counterfeit

How can I explain?

When you can’t relieve my pain

How can I exist?

If you can’t believe the risk

I take everyday

Just to be counterfeit.

It started yesterday

I miss you already

As I see past’s hold

Climb all over me

It started yesterday

When I was haunted

By images on ID cards

And the way you look tonight

Is counterfeit

How can I explain?

When you can’t relieve my pain

How can I exist?

If you can’t believe the risk

I take everyday

Just to be counterfeit.

Then a crescendo of tsunamis hit

Leaving truth in their wake

Hide if you want

Be yourself if you must

Just do it because……

You want to!

Reviews

[Michael Atherton]

I like how you personified both "past" and "future" in each "verse," if you will. It makes it seem like the narrator is trapped under a physical weight of time with the person she's speaking to. In addition, I like the defense mechanism "Hide if you want" the narrator allows her audience. It's rare to find an acceptance of the false pretenses humans put on to protect themselves. Loverly!

[Emily]

I love you wording Ashley! Good job!

[Ashley Griffiths]

Many thanks!

[Michael (Letters and Li..]

"It started yesterday. I miss you already" - Such a simple line that captures so much emotion. I don't know why but that line really spoke to me from the poem as a whole. Great write! :)

[Ashley Griffiths]

I am glad that you liked it.

[Ashira Macy]

This read like it could be a song, and a gorgeous one at that, sung by Christina Perry or someone with a melancholy persona. I thought it was absolutely gorgeous.

[Ashley Griffiths]

Thank you so much. :-)

[yuki]

love how this started and ended :)

[Ashley Griffiths]

Many thanks!