This beautiful disaster

If someone where to ask me
what my love life is like
I'd say its a beautiful disaster,
A beautiful disaster with unfortunate events

But whats to come next will be the ultimate test
To settle our year
And be friends till we deem fit
If we can work into it then we will go back to it
If not well I gain a friend indeed

I do this because what I feel is true
I know what passion and foolishness is
And I know this is right in the middle where it seems fit
I'm not held down nor blinded by love
I can accept certain faits
But I know that in my heart what I feel is real.
Not saying it wouldn't suck to not get to love him
To be the person to make him smile when things are rough
To show him the amazing things about him when he can't see it himself
But I will never take it back for
I get to bond with someone unlike any other.
To keep this beautiful disaster within my life

I worked my friendship then settled with him
I see no reason to not work again
Love is a work in progress
No good relationship is easy
So now that he wants to try being my friend;
Now that he's reaching into deeper parts of him.
It drives me harder to work with him.
My beautiful disaster is complicated
He's influenced from the pain he carries
So he is afraid of being hurt by me and with the unknowns of the world
That's why it's harder for him to get close to me and to his feelings.
I want nothing but to show him someone who wants to be their through thick and thin.

Knowing these things only make me fight harder
To show him I'm not here for selfish desire
Or to break him apart.
I stand true to the things I feel
I haven't walked away yet
Especially when things are intense
Because for some reason relationship or not
Something draws me to him
This want to see the person he becomes and the person he can be.