Revelation

There are several colors my eyes can see

I follow the blue and white paths

I will pick a few flowers where my heart leads

There are several words I can say

and they all suit my love best

I will only use what he wants me to say

No offense to Robert Burns, but 

My love is like a blue, blue lavender that's newly sprung in March

And since then my veins full of purple blood

No offense all the Gods, but

To prove creation was perfect, all they had to do was present you.

Maybe then there wouldn't be so many blood runs

God killed me and put me in heaven in your arms

and bad things don't happen in heaven

you leave me no choice but to forgive you

abuse all my good will.

After all, God made us do it.

Reviews

[Billy]

Really interesting use of color imagery creates a sense of vibrancy in this beautiful poem. The adaption of imagery to "My Love is Like a Red, Red Rose" is a very unique idea. The line "My veins full of purple blood" suggests your emotional state has been altered by the love described. The exploration of love here is definitely complex, and speaks to themes of devotion and forgiveness. There is a blurring of lines between heaven and earth and the use of religious imagery adds a real depth and complexity. Wonderful, wonderful poetry.

[Beren]

oh yes yes! that's exactly what i meant and i'm so glad you understood me so well. i definitely always enjoy your comments and i appreciate you taking the time to read my works. i saw that you posted a new poem and i'm already so excited i'm going to read it right away!
Thank you so much!

[Soren]

From the start the usage of color. I often read too much into symbols but white is purity, innocence, and ignorance, blue loyalty or perseverance, lavender a mix of blue and red, the red blood replaced, red when oxygenated, blue when depleted. Indoctrinated ones mind follows the leader "I will only use what he wants me to say" "bad things don't happen in heaven" left with no choice but forgiveness. Abuse in blood runs, being killed and now the common blame but this time "God made us do it " haven't used that one since I was a kid but here it fits so well. With that forgiveness of anything is possible. A deep and wonderful write

[Beren]

You definitely interpreted the images very well! You understood what I wrote correctly and that is very valuable. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. Thank you so much sir! You really made my day!

[Betty Hermelee]

Dear Beren
it seems to me that this a sad tale of abuse, running through arteries and blood….. your words are harsh for a reason; no one should control you life…. only you…. not even God…..your voice is very clear in this piece
“ I will only use words he wants me to say”…..
Warmly, B🌷🌷🌷🌷

[Beren]

Thank you so much for your sweet and thoughtful comment. This wasn't what I wanted to say in this poem, but it definitely made me look back at my words. Thank you so much for your time.
Have a good day!

[Betty Hermelee]

You are welcome!🌷
Warmly, B

[redzone]

nobody or whatever makes anyone abuse someone else. The abuser is full responsible for their abuse. and, depending on the severity of the abuse there is no forgiveness, just escape and survival. We live is a f**kd up society where often the one who is abused gets blamed for their being abused. This is pure nonsense in my opinion and it certainly is not in the interests of humanity as a whole.

Sorry, Beren, if I have misread your poem. I often get carried away.
-Curt

[Beren]

This is definitely a very thoughtful and very beautiful comment that is true in every sentence. No victim or any other factor is ever guilty, except the abuser. This is not what I wanted to say in this poem, but I am thinking back on my words and I never wanted it to be understood this way. What you said is very valuable and I am very grateful for your comments. I am always very happy to see you here.

[D. Mansfield]

I like your writing I've read several tonight

[Beren]

Thank you sir!