Lost boy

I know heartache all too well
Lies, broken promises and realized fears.
The idea of him is what's sustained me
Gave me the courage to smile through my tears.

You see I was unlovable
I was just a passing phase for most
All I loved only took what they needed from me
Like parasites and my soul was the host.

In a dream God told me not to worry
And he showed me exactly why that night
He said this man will show you heaven
But first through hell you're having to fight.

I didn't know how much longer I'd have to prepare
Or how much more pain I'd have to withstand
But I welcomed the continued attacks on my spirit
For it meant I was closer to being ready for this man.

The first lesson I learned was loss
My mother was taken from me in cruel style
6 short weeks was all I had with her
Not even long enough to know her smile.

Immediately after I learned of loss
He saw fit to teach me of hate.
It filled my father's eyes completely
Every time he looked at me after that day

Loneliness became a familiar friend
Like a motherless girls favorite song
But in the moments of my solitude
I learned to sing and dance along.

Finding strength was a prevailing lesson throughout life
Turns out I had more than I ever knew
In my tests of betrayal, hurt and pain
I always gathered enough strength to pull through.

Giving love was asked of me so much
I was able to love without condition or end
I love freely, deeply and fiercely
As a mother, lover and friend.

God taught me how to nurture
With 3 sweet blessings I call my boys
To care for them always above myself
Rewarded with pride and countless joy.

God must have known I'd done my best
And He decided to wait no more
He introduced me to the one I'd dreamt of
Showed me the heart I'd been fighting for.

As I spent time learning this man
I knew exactly what God had done
You see this man is a US soldier
My battles had only begun

The hard lesson of loss now made sense
For my love was made for war
One day he may have to make the ultimate sacrifice
And give his life for what he fights for

The hate I was exposed to readied me for this life
Not all understand why he must fight
That look I'll see in nonbelievers eyes
Can't keep me from knowing what he does is right

All the loneliness I'd grown accustomed to
Was a blessing by becoming a friend of mine
The way it kept me company through my youth
Will now stay with me while he's on the front line

My strength I used to think I'd depleted
Was now in a never ending supply
So when I kiss my soldier when he has to leave
That sweet strength won't let him see me cry

All the love I'd learned to give
Had never flowed so free and strong
I know without hesitation it will reach this man
When he goes too far for far too long

The heartbreak I know was to help me
Feel some of his pain that he's been through
For as I was living out all my trials
My hero had experienced Hell too

Just as I learned to nurture my children
I now know how to help him heal
Even though some of this man's scars you can't see
I have the love and safety he needs to feel

Now that this man's in front of me
I thank God for every second of my pain
To have one minute just to touch this man's face
I'd go through it all 100 times again

I hope this soldier sees that I've fought so hard
Until my soul was black and blue
And I'll never stop as long as I live
Turns out I was made to fight too.