My Burning Breath

When saddness is too wild a force to be contained

MY BURNING BREATH

Until my breath was burning in my chest

Only tears knew the words I could not speak

Hurting chips of glass they relieved my pains

I could not hold them quiet in my hands

Sorrow cuts and my feelings bleed out

 I once stood firmly against the wind

And now I am folded over myself

Swallowed up in my grieving I’m lost

Fingers trembling too weak to help

I started this fire I’ll put it out……….

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[bobby]

Yes I do try to set a rythem or count. Sometimes 5 -7 but this extended a bit. Refine pain isn't that the truth! Men can hide it so well but only for so long. I comes disquised in many forms, verbal, agression, anger, depression, impulsivness, sex....etc

[Seshat Nidaba]

9 syallables, is that how you got such a pretty cadence? I could learn a lot from you. So let's begin our study.

This was a about pain I know, but it was so refined, it hardly felt like pain, at all!

[d]

i'm sorry, i thought something quite different at first. but isn't this the thing...
hurt is the thing without words
so when one can assemble some, like you have, people must cheer, as i do...
that in spite of it, one can win just a little and find a smile
congrats!

[Enigma]

Very nice indeed. I loved the idea you used for this piece(:

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

you have perfectly described the pain that is felt that is so horrible you are bent in two and you cannot catch your breath. I have felt this pain many times and I survived it too. Wonderfully penned.

[Teri B]

I have felt sadness like this. It is a wound that feels cut open every hour, tearing at you till you think you will expire with the awful pain, and all you can do is howl, and try to ease it that way!