Shoot

 Sitting frozen in the corner of the room; frozen by the cold, frozen by the fear, frozen by.... everything. Load the rounds, c**k the gun, unhook the safety; I know what to do, just the fear of failure was paralyzing. All it was was one shot, it shouldn’t be this hard. Too many young bodies taken down in this war and it could all end right now, with this one bullet in the head; that head lying 10 feet behind the door with the lethal weapon in my hand.

I load the single round.

C**k the gun.

Unhook the safety.

Step through the door.

Shoot.

Author's Note

Questions, comments, etc?

Reviews

[Wolfwind]

Hmmm... Interesting scene... End of the 4th line... head or hand?

This is one that I think you've crafted a really good beginning of something... I think if you could find a way to drag out the suspense a bit longer... perhaps more mental musing by the character. I like the ending lines... it rushes in and BANG! That sudden shift to fast forward works really well.

The concept is an interesting one for sure. I can see the tip of fear resonating as well as a smidge of the sense of duty and a bit of remorse.

I shall give it one thumb up. It's a good piece... just not quite there yet in my opinion. =)

Aaron

[K.]

Hand! I just changed that, thank you for catching it. And thank you. This is just something I wrote really quickly from a thought in my head. I didn't have the intention of writing more, but now that you said that, I might. I see what you mean when it needs to be a bit longer, but I think I made it so short so that I could make it sort of vague, so that the reader could imagine his/her own situation and what else is going on. Not always the best thing for the writer to do, but I was short on time and experimenting! Thank you very, very much for reading, reviewing and catching that error. I really appreciate it.

[Wolfwind]

It's all good. I'd rather have you do what you the poet feels is right. My opinion is just that, an opinion, lol. I'll keep reading your ink regardless. =)

[K.]

Well, thank you! Maybe I will rewrite/make it longer :)

[Skye Sparks]

Whoa. This is quite intense. Good, of course, but intense. What is this based on, Kassie?

[K.]

Thanks, Skye! And most of my ideas either come from dreams or weird little ideas that my messed up mind just happens to think up, so that's where this probably came from. I wrote it a while back so I'm not sure. But thanks for reading and reviewing!

[SquinklaPsyOps]

I like it. It’s solid—can’t find much to critique.

The idea is clearly expressed.

[K.]

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I appreciate it.

[bablioe223]

i feel the anticipation! it's raw!

[K.]

Thank you!